


They will never take you alive

by WilliamWiggleSpeare



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood, Drinking, Drugs, Emetophobia, F/F, Gang Violence, Gideon is terrified of Ford, Gore, Homophobia, Human Bill Cipher, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Just trying to think of how to continue it, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mafia AU, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not on indefinite hiatus, Older Characters, Older Dipper Pines, Older Mabel Pines, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Prostitution mention, Underage Drinking, as he should be, bill has some trust issues, brief POV changes, did i mention dipper's kinda dense?, friend wanted a mafia au so they got one, gideon is an asshole, he can't tell when bill is seriously flirting and when he's just teasing, he isnt good in this fic, i hope you like this abby, if you dont like this ship then dont read it, slight angst, slowburn, yes i got the title from Partners In Crime shut up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-05-24 00:59:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilliamWiggleSpeare/pseuds/WilliamWiggleSpeare
Summary: Dipper pines thought his town was innocent and quiet, boy was he so wrong. The mafia? The black market? When did the sweet little town he called home get so corrupt.





	1. chappy 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!  
> Lemme know if there's any errors<3

**Tick**

**Tick**

**Tick**

**Tick**

Dipper could almost hear the clock mocking him, laughing at him for taking the night shift at the Dawn2Dusk, so what if he was all alone until 4 (which was only a couple hours away) in the morning, he was a struggling online college student in desperate need for money, who could blame him! He wanted to get his degree in creative writing so he could publish the still-being-written novel he’s been working on since high school, he also wanted to go to a 4-year university but there weren’t any in Gravity Falls., so he went with what was available.

_‘That’s small towns for you.’_ Dipper thought begrudgingly to himself, one elbow on the checking counter and the other propping up his head as he flipped through a magazine, filling the agonizingly slow minutes with celebrity drama and **“Tips to lose weight quick!”**. He rolled his eyes as he closed the glossy airbrushed cover and set it back with the other ones before setting his forehead down on the cool glass of the counter, shutting his eyes and groaning loudly. No customers in the last few hours are what drove him crazy, he could deal with grumpy customers, tired moms with crying toddlers, even shady people who tried to shoplift for fuck's sake! Anybody would be great right now to him, anybody to interrupt the suffocating silence of the mini-mart.

He _would_ be listening to music on his phone, but his manager prohibited him because of his bad habit of spacing off at seriously inconvenient times. It was busier during the day than at night, Dipper didn’t know why he thought it would be a breeze taking the night shift, easy maybe but deathly boring. _‘In the end, it’s all for a good cause, no matter how boring or-_ **!’** Dipper was startled out of his mental bitching about his job when he heard gunshots, several of them before he heard tires screeching and then more gunshots. He shrunk in his work boots (hiking boots he got for a birthday, but were never used for their intended purpose), blood slowly turning icy as the gunshots continued. There was hardly any crime in Gravity Falls, sure the population grew since his sister and he were kids, but mostly retired old folks and parents who wanted a quiet place to raise a family, nobody who would start a shootout in the middle of the night! Although there were rumors going around about Gravity Falls getting its very own mafia gang, those were just rumors though, right?

Dipper slowly scooted down, back facing the front of the counter. Whatever was going on, he didn’t want to become a part of it. His great-uncles would skin him if they knew he got hurt when he could’ve prevented it. He shook his head at himself for his ridiculous thoughts, what kind of mafia would want to be in such a small town? Plus there wasn’t even anybody the mafia would want in Gravity Falls, well...maybe his great-uncle Stanley, but he was retired from doing crimes...for the most part. He shook himself out of his thinking and froze when he heard voices, yelling and- and laughing? He could swear he’s heard that laugh somewhere before but he couldn’t place it. At least not when he’s huddled down, worrying about if he’ll become a victim of whatever the hell was going on outside. He was still alert, small bursts of adrenaline racking his body with excess energy when the gunshots came back, then stopped again.

He jumped and a small whimper escaped him when he heard tires screeching suddenly, loudly and closely, then a loud crash. The sound of broken glass and car shrapnel scattering onto the asphalt strangely loud to Dipper. A couple minutes passed before he heard a vehicle start up and pull away from the parking lot and then the road leading to the mini-mart, then disappearing altogether. DIpper listened close for any other happenings, gunshots or otherwise. He slowly got up, a little shaky from the adrenaline rush but otherwise fine. Using the counter's edge to stabilize himself, he looked around and checked for any bullet holes or damage done to the store. When he found none, he skittishly looked out the glass doors, not seeing much besides glass and torn pieces of metal on the ground. He gave a soft sigh of relief when he didn’t immediately find any dead bodies or anything in the view of the exit.

He chewed on his lip as he weighed the pros and cons of going outside. Possibly being injured by stray bullets and glass, or risk his pick-up truck being unusable because it got caught in the crossfire- SHIT HIS LAPTOP WAS IN THERE! How could he have forgotten it! He stumbled over his own feet in his sudden rush to get somewhere, practically slamming the glass exit doors open before he ran to his beat up (yet reliable) truck, not really thinking about the glass that he’d have to sweep up before he left unless it just disappeared, he wouldn’t be surprised if that happened, what with how weird Gravity Falls could be. He forgot about anomalies and broken glass when he found that his truck was safe and his laptop was right there on the seat where he left it.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning against the side of the truck before glancing around, coming out of his anxiety and fear fueled stupor when he noticed the source for all the debris on the ground, a car on the edge of the parking lot. Dipper slowly walked towards it before he finally got close enough to inspect around it, the ground wet with something foul smelling, Dipper didn’t recognize it but avoided it nonetheless. Stepping around the remains of what looked to be the side mirrors, he poked his head around the car door, which was bent at an odd angle, He gasped and stumbled back, nearly busting his ass on some debris, when he saw that a person, a man, was still inside the car on the drivers side. Dipper panicked, lightly touching the guy's shoulder before inspecting the seatbelt holding the man in.

Dipper reached around the man, breathing ragged as his heart rate spiked, tugging on the seatbelt before finally finding the clip and trying to get it to unlock. He jiggled it a bit before it finally gave, causing the bloodied man to slouch and start falling sideways. Dipper yelped when the guy nearly fell out of the car, luckily he caught him in time. DIpper squatted down before scooping the man into his arms, wincing as he felt the warm liquid get on his shirt. It was easy to carry the man, considering Mabel made him help lift Waddles into the truck when his vet visits came up. Dipper readjusted the man in his arms before carrying him away from the wrecked car, nearly busting his ass again when he lost his footing in the mystery liquid, he sighed but slowly stepped away from the puddles before half-running towards his truck, laying the man in the passenger side before Dipper looked over him, checking for major injuries. Other than his shoulder being dislocated and his nose being bent at an odd angle, plus some deep cuts in his arm and thigh where the bullets must’ve got him, he was also bleeding from a cut on his forehead and- Dipper nearly hurled, the man's entire left eye was covered in blood because it was torn and damaged. Dipper covered his mouth before gently shaking the man, seeing if he would wake up. After a couple minutes of no response, Dipper put his ear to the man's chest, seeing if he was still alive. It was weak but the man’s heart was still producing beats. Dipper sighed in relief, buckling the man in before rushing back to the store. 

Closing it up and locking the doors, he ran back to his truck and got in. He turned it on and pulled out to the road, speeding to the hospital, nearly swerving off the road when a giant explosion sounded off behind them. A light bulb went off in Dippers head, the liquid must’ve been gasoline. He felt stupid for not figuring it out earlier, he elected not to tell anyone, lest he gets locked in his own room. He rushed to the hospital as fast as 10 miles above the speed limit allowed, hoping that the guy would make it. Dipper didn’t really practice any religions anymore but he still said a silent prayer for the man.


	2. chappy 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some world building. More dialogue filled than last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!<3  
> Lemme know if there's any errors.

Dipper felt the sweat run down the side of his head as he drove to the hospital, chewing on his lip more aggressively than before, _‘Anybody would be nervous in this situation’._ He shook his head lightly, getting his mind back on track. He stole a quick glance to the man in the passenger seat, his blood was getting all over the seat covers- which Dipper was grateful he had- it would soon soak in but that wasn’t the driver's concern right now. He sighed before slowly pressing on the brake pedal, taking the turn to go to the hospital. He pulled around back to the emergency entrance where the ambulances parked before quickly getting out, running inside and grabbing a nurse and trying to explain why he was there. 

When the nurse finally got what Dipper was saying, he ran back inside and got a team of emergency staff. While they were doing that, Dipper opened the passenger side, unbuckling the man before gently scooping him out and waiting for the nurse to come back. Dipper noticed the small things about his features, the way his good eye closed tight in pain, the surprisingly soft look of his lips, the caramel look to what parts of his skin not covered in blood, all the little things. When the team came outside, Dipper handed the man over and watched as they strapped him to a gurney and strapped an oxygen mask to his face, careful of his damaged eye. When the team rushed inside to start helping the unconscious man, Dipper followed because he knew they would want to ask questions about what happened. When he got inside he was given the directions to the bathroom so he could wash off the blood that got on him. When he came out, a tired looking nurse showed him where he could sit down, while he did another nurse holding a clipboard with paperwork on it came and sat next to him.

The nurse asked him all the usual questions, if he knew the man or if it was an attempt on his life, if he was thinking about hurting himself. Dipper answered most of the questions the same, he didn’t know the guy. When they asked if he knew how the man got like that, Dipper wrung his hands in his lap. He didn’t want to rat the guy out (he’s seen enough mob movies to know that was a bad idea) so he just told the nurse he was in a car accident. That was what Dipper heard at least, minus the gunshots. The nurse scribbled things down on the clipboard as Dipper spoke, giving a soft ‘Mhm’ every once in awhile. Dipper explained that he was just working at the Dusk2Dawn when he heard the crash, he was sure that the police were going to investigate the mini-mart in the morning. When the nurse got what they needed, they left and another came out telling him that he needed to leave since he wasn’t related to the man. 

He went back outside to his truck and got in, starting it up and driving back to the road that would lead him to town and then back to the cabin he called home. He sighed, glad he was clean now but he was still worried about the guy, wondering if he would see him again, He hoped he made it out okay but didn’t let his hopes get too high. Afterall the guy was in pretty bad shape, Dipper hadn’t seen so much blood in his life (well, besides that one time Mabel summoned blood rain). When he finally pulled in and grabbed his backpack from the backseat, he realized how exhausted he was from the incident. His legs felt like lead as he trudged up to the door, getting his keys out of his pocket before unlocking the door and entered as quietly as he could. His family wouldn’t expect him home so early but he was grateful for the extra hours off.

He was used to working at night since he had a night job for a while after he graduated high school. He was so busy with his internal monologuing that he didn’t realize he was already up the stairs and into his room. He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the soft light of his table lamp, setting his bag down next to his other shoes before kicking off his current ones. He’d have to clean them, what with the blood and gasoline that got on them. He untied the jacket around his waist and hung it up on the rack he had installed when he was trying to spruce his room up. He groaned and popped his neck before he set his laptop on his desk, plopping down in his trusty desk chair his parents bought him when he complained about neck and back pain from the days he still lived at home and typed at his laptop on the floor. He turned it on and opened up the document he’s spent countless days and nights writing, the main reason he was almost admitted to the hospital because he lost so much sleep. His novel. 

He worked on it a bit before he lit up, what he had just gone through was perfect material for the death scene in his novel, a mystery. He tried not to base certain paragraphs entirely off of what happened, but it was hard not to and he was excited. Pages upon pages being created from the almost-near-death experience he had tonight. After an hour or so, he shut his laptop down and got up and stretched, popping his neck, back, and knuckles. With a happy sigh, he shuffled over to his bed and plopped down, burying his face in the soft down of his favorite pillows. Within a couple minutes, he was sound asleep, snoring softly and hugging a pillow. 

\--------

He woke up in a cold sweat, heart doing double time from the night terror that invaded his sleep. He couldn’t remember much as with most night terrors, but he did recall a single golden eye. He had no idea where that came from, he hasn’t seen any golden eyes lately. He brushed the hair out of his face before sitting up and looking around. Right. He was in his room, honey golden light filtering through his room from the half-open curtains, the sunlight dancing with the dust particles, creating a scene that helped Dipper relax.

“God I need a haircut, Mabel’ll probably wanna do that when she comes home for summer break.” He grumbled in his just-woke-up voice when he had to brush his bangs out of his face again. He usually swept the unruly curls back with gel but since his sister said she’d disown him if he ever defected over to man buns, he usually tucked it up in a hat. He stumbled out of bed before he found the floor meeting his face faster than usual. Human reflexes kicked in and blocked his face before he broke something but it still pissed him off that he tripped in his sheets. If Mabel were here she’d laugh, call him a Dipshit while checking if he was okay. 

His heart ached for his twin, who was currently hundreds of miles away at a prestigious school of creative arts in Los Angeles where she got a scholarship for fashion and design. At least she had Pacifica with her, nobody would send them a second glance what with the bodyguards Pacifica’s father assigned to them. Even if they were texting, calling, e-mailing, and video chatting constantly when they had the free time, he still missed his sister more than anything, and his future sister-in-law. Pacifica had made sure to make a big scene at their graduation in front of everybody that resulted in Mabel wearing a hunk of shiny rock on her ring finger. Dipper was happy for them.

He untangled himself and got up before heading to the bathroom to do his daily business. After washing his hands, he looked at himself in the mirror. The ever-present bags under his eyes weren’t as pronounced since he got more than 2 hours of sleep last night, his hair sticking up at odd angles...not unlike the man’s nose from last night. It all came rushing back to him, the gunshots, the broken glass, the puddles of blood and gasoline that made him slip. He dragged his hands down his face before heading back out to get a fresh pair of clothes. Ones that didn’t have a strangers blood on them. 

“At least it wasn’t one of my good shirts.” He tried to make light of bad situations, it just helped his mental health more than focusing on the bad things like he did when he was younger. He threw the bloodied shirt in his waste bin before putting the rest of his clothing in the laundry bin for later. He’d also have to replace his sheets, especially if he got blood all over them. He sighed before stepping back into the bathroom to take a shower and hopefully get his unruly hair under control. After his shower and getting his facial hair at an acceptable length, he got dressed in fresh clothing and slipped on some house shoes, old running shoes he wore for running around town for errands and grabbed his trusty pinetree trucker hat, a sorry attempt to keep his hair down.

He slipped downstairs into the kitchen, attracted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee and bacon, he poked his head into the small kitchen before grinning when he saw his great-uncle's sitting at the table, bantering over something in the paper. He walked in and poured himself a cup of coffee before making himself a plate of bacon and mystery fruit pancakes. He wouldn’t be surprised if Ford added some weird created-in-the-basement-lab fruit to see if it was edible. When he sat down, the grunkles grunted, acknowledging Dipper’s presence- well Stan did but Ford greeted him like he usually did. Dipper knew his grunkle Ford made an effort to be social with his family after Ford and Stan got into a fight a few years back about Ford not bonding with their great-niblings enough.

“How was your job last night, Mason? Any anomalies to be researched? Did you see Bigfoot or was it just a very hairy customer?” Ford asked, his mouth turning up at the side in a half smile, his tone laced with mirth as he (lamely) joked about cryptids. Dipper, or rather, Mason was strict about who used his birth name since only people who he was very close with could use it. He didn’t mind his grunkle Ford using it though. Dipper snorted as he stuffed a forkful of pancake in his mouth, chewing before swallowing.

“Nah, just some regular night owl customers in the beginning but hardly anyone after that. I _think_ I might’ve saw Mothman though.” Dipper teased, Ford knew they were joking, if not he’d already be downstairs gathering supplies to hunt down and document the creature. It garnered a reaction from Stan as well, who snorted and called them ‘a pair of nerds in a dorky peapod’ under his breath before turning the pages of the newspaper. Dipper chuckled softly before his smirk slowly turned into a frown and he shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to ask a million and one questions but he knew that would just get him more chores if he asked too many. He had to choose carefully, had to word it just right or his grunkles might give him lessons on how to defend himself properly, he already had to carry a pocketknife because Stan found out he was getting into fights when he was at his parents house and when he was at the grunkles’ place, just because his preferences weren’t accepted by some assholes. It was only a couple people in Gravity Falls though, it mostly happened in Piedmont at his parents' house. Not anymore though, he could hold his own now (for the most part).

“So uh, word on the street has it that Gravity Falls might-er or already has its own mafia. What do you guys think? Truth or bullshit?” He shuffled his feet nervously, he knew if Stan thought he was getting involved with a bad crowd, he’d be able to find out quickly. As an ex-conman, Stan has his ways of getting usually highly secret information. He was right about Stan being suspicious when the old man lowered the newspaper he was reading to squint at Dipper. Gauging his reaction, trying to read his face and see if his suspicions were true.

“Why’dya wanna know? Thinking about joinin’ them?” Stan drawled out, careful to keep his face clear and his voice steady. If Dipper really was joining with them, he didn’t wanna scare the kid off. 

“N-no, I just...just thought we could make up some new attractions to get more tourists around during the seasons. I think Mabel would kick my ass to Jupiter if I got involved in something like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding his great-uncle's gaze, not wanting to blurt out what happened last night and get into trouble. The grunkles had a habit of making the twins spill the beans, even if they weren’t trying to. Dipper guessed it was just intimidating old man charisma or something like that. 

“That wouldn’t be such a good idea, you two. Even if The Falls did have its own mafia, it wouldn’t be good to make it public. Tourists, innocent people, could get hurt.” Ford spoke softly but firmly about the subject, speaking to both Stan and Dipper. He could practically hear the cha-ching sounds coming from Stan’s head as he thought up a new attraction, something like **“Get your picture taken with the mobster for just $20!”.** They both looked at Ford before nodding and going back to eating breakfast, falling into a comfortable silence. Dipper thinking about the chores and errands he had to do during the day.

He had to go grocery shopping, go to the post office and mail off the letter to his parents- he always sent them one every month, to catch them up on how he was doing. Then he had to fix up some of the attractions, clean up the debris left over from some territory fights by two very pissed off groups of gnomes, mow around the totem pole and that was it for the day. The Falls never failed to keep him busy, that’s why he chose to stay in Gravity Falls after he graduated. 

After he finished his breakfast/early lunch and washed his plate and mug, he announced to his grunkles that he was taking the golf cart around town to do errands, they nodded in approval before Dipper jogged upstairs and grabbed his wallet, stuffing it in his back pocket, grabbing the letter and a flannel to go over his “I believe” alien t-shirt, it wasn’t summer yet so it was still a little chilly, but not too much so. He went back downstairs and grabbed the carts keys off the hook they stayed on before going outside, closing the door behind him and shuffling over to the little tent the golf cart stayed under for rainy days. Getting in the driver's side, he started it up and got on the road that led to town, trying to shake off the feeling that he was being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who already validated me with their comments, thank you! You know who you are.


	3. chappy 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets chores done, meets a couple of the henchmaniacs, goes to help a little troll before conflict happens. Mostly world building but if you squint, there's a plot.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> Lemme know if there's any errors!<3
> 
> !!There's non-consensual drug use later in the story, but nothing really bad happens, except knives and blood, but nothing too bad. Just a warning!!

As Dipper drove to the post office, he greeted the locals he saw, Old man McGucket waved as he wrestled...was that a small alligator? He’d have to tell Ford about that later. Dipper shook his head and chuckled as he drove past before pulling into the Post office’s lot, quickly running inside and giving the desk attendant his letter and stuffing the receipt he got back into his pocket. Nobody was paying attention to him and yet, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes on his back. He looked around but he saw no one. He sighed before getting back into the golf cart, driving to the grocery mart and priding himself on the park job he did, after all, he got a high score on his driving test when he was 16.

After hooking the keys to his belt loop, he jogged inside and grabbed a basket and started down the veggie aisle, grabbing what he would need for dinner that night. He knew what the grunkles would and wouldn’t eat since both the old men were picky eaters. 

“I guess if I had dentures, I would be picky too.” Dipper mumbled to himself as he looked over the veggies. When he was done there, he grabbed a loaf of soft bread and went to the chip aisle, since they were having burgers tonight, the Stans would want some. When he got to the cleaning/chemicals aisle, he did a double take. He wasn’t sure what he saw was real. A short woman with fiery pink hair (it actually looked like fire too) and heeled boots to match. She didn’t look like much but the rings on her hand looked like they could break your face if you looked at her wrong. She made Dipper feel uneasy and she hadn’t even looked at him. The taller man next to her was rubbing his chin as he looked over the bleaches, a tattoo of the jaw bone on, ironically, his jaw (the teeth had been made to look rotten and decayed, Dipper was surprised with the amount of detail on it). His head clean shaven and Dipper guessed he probably even buffed it. 

He slowly shuffled close, he had to get bleach for laundry but they were in the way and Dipper wasn’t about to ask them to move. When he got close, the woman with the pink hair snapped her head up, sending him a glare. _‘Probably trying to see if I’m worth the fight’_ Dipper guessed. He gave her a weak smile and pointed to the bleach before he was surprised by the woman moving back so the bleach was accessible to him. He squeaked out a ‘thank you’ before grabbing the usual Clorox brand. He turned around and was about to leave the aisle before he felt manicured nails grab his shoulder and he froze. He could feel his heart start to beat faster before he turned his head and looked at the hand. The woman must have a thing for hot pink because her nails matched her hair. 

“Uh...s-something you need?” Dipper could feel his hands trembling, he felt humiliation rise up inside him, so what if these two were intimidating he’s seen worse. He hated the shaking of his hands and the weak feeling in his knees. He grunted before turning around to face the woman, giving her another weak smile.

“Sure, kid. Need your opinion. Which bleach would ya use for a big mess? Ya know, if your pet made a mess or somethin’ like that. Or say if you spilled red wine on a white carpet.” She gestured a bit with her hands but mostly kept them on her hips, a strong New York accent rang through her voice. Her magenta lips curled at the corners in a predatory-esque grin, she knew she freaked Dipper out, at least the man mostly ignored him.

“T-The bleaches? Well...if I spilled wine on a white carpet or my pet had an accident on it, I would go with Maximum Strength bleach. Sure it costs a little more but it works great.” He immersed himself in the bleach variety’s, rubbing his cheek a bit before leaning down and grabbing the large jug of the stuff before handing it to her. She looked at him before taking the jug, looking at it a bit before she gave him a wolfish grin that gave Dipper shivers all over, starting his shaky hands all over again.

“Thanks for the input, kid. I’ll be sure to remember that.” She reached up, patting Dipper’s cheek before winking at him, turning around and speaking something to the taller man before he nodded and they started to leave. Dipper managed to wave goodbye to them before he quickly shuffled out of the aisle and tried to control his breathing. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack but he was sure his body was just overreacting, he’s been in worse situations and with things that weren’t even human! A faint memory of his first summer in The Falls when Mabel released the gremloblin flashed through his head. He gave a grin to the old memory, regaining his composure before getting the rest of what he needed before going to the checkout.

He was somewhat surprised to see the intimidating duo grilling the poor cashier about something, the teen looked ready to pass out. Dipper cleared his throat before smiling and setting his basket on the conveyor belt. The duo looked at him before going back to talking to the cashier, seeming to get what they wanted they started to leave again, disappearing out the automatic doors. Dipper snorted and checked out, trying to make friendly conversation with the cashier. When he was done he shuffled outside to the golf cart and set the groceries in the back compartment before he started it up and went on his way home. He noticed the duo again so he gave them a smile, but the man and woman just leered at him. It didn’t help the feeling that he was being watched any better if anything they made it worse.

He stepped on the gas and tried to focus on the road, trying to get home as fast as possible. The feeling started making his head itch and it was harder to focus. He grumbled to himself about how he shouldn’t be freaked out by a couple of tourists. He got home quicker than he should’ve and rushed inside to put away the groceries, trying to be quick so he would have time after chores to relax. He grabbed the keys for the tool shed and ran outside, getting the mower before starting it up and trying his best not to actually hit the totem pole as he mowed around it.

He was sweaty and his arms were sore when he was done and putting the mower away, but he couldn't relax just yet, he still had to clean up the aftermath of the territory fights from the gnomes. He groaned as he popped his neck and tried to pop his back but was unsuccessful, he grabbed the broom and dustpan and a couple black garbage bags. Putting the supplies in the back compartment of the golf cart, he got in and drove out to the clearing. It took him a couple minutes to get there but he was determined to get the job done as fast as possible. Being in the spooky part of the forest didn’t help his anxiety at all, especially since it was worse because of the feeling that he was being watched hadn’t gone away.

While he was cleaning up, he reminded himself to tell his great-uncle Ford that when a gnome loses a piece of itself, the appendage turns into porcelain. That was certainly not in any of the journals. He hummed a couple songs from the CD Mabel made him for when he missed her. He found them irritatingly catchy and found himself humming the tune of one of the songs when he was reading or washing the dishes. He was mostly ignoring the uneasy feeling but for some reason, it was getting worse the longer he was out in the woods. When he had all the porcelain debris cleaned up and put into the garbage bags, he set them in the back of the cart and drove back to the shack.

He set the bags near the metal garbage and recycle bins on the side of the shack, wiping the sweat off his forehead before parking the golf cart and heading back inside. Hanging up the keys on their hook, he groaned and took his flannel off, tying it around his waist. He trudged up the stairs and took his dirty shirt off, tossing it into the laundry bin and fist pumping the air when he made it into the bin. “Fuck yes, gooooaaaallll!”. He cheered quietly while getting clean clothes out so he could take another shower since he’s learned better hygiene habits since he was a kid, much to everyone’s relief. He hummed happily when the hot water hit his sore muscles but knew if he took too long Stan would gripe at him for taking all the hot water, so he had to make it quick.

When he got out of the shower and into clean clothes, he trotted downstairs and made himself a quick sandwich since it wasn’t dinner time yet. While he was munching away, he heard the phone ring, which Stan in the living room watching TV yelled at him to get. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the curly corded phone, swallowing his bite of food before he answered.

“Mystery Shack: Shack of mysterious wonders and home of Mr. Mystery, Dipper speaking.” Dipper rose an eyebrow when the person on the other end didn’t answer. “Hello?” Dipper spoke again, guessing it was just a prank call. He sighed before hanging up and going back to eating his sandwich before the phone rang again. He groaned before answering again. “If you’re not going to answer then stop calling me!” Dipper spoke sharply, huffing.

“What? This is m’first time calling, Dipper. What’re you talkin’ about?” A familiar voice answered and Dipper recognized it as his old “foe”, Gideon Gleeful. Dipper replied quickly.

“Oh, shit dude, sorry, what’s up? Still trying to win my sister’s heart?” Dipper teased, he didn’t really like Gideon, more like tolerated him. He was still in the dark about Mabel’s status as to-be-married and Dipper didn’t want to see what happened when the little troll found out.

“Just seein’ if you were available, I need some heavy liftin’ done and Ghost Eyes is still on vacation.” Gideon explained and Dipper could just see Gideon popping his knuckles, a disturbing habit he picked up when he was in jail. Sure Dipper did it too, but the way Gideon did it couldn’t be healthy.

“Depends on what I’ll be lifting, Gleeful. Will I be getting paid?” Dipper questioned, he didn’t really want to do anything else today but if he was getting paid for it, he supposed he could. Even if it was Gideon. He heard grumbling on the other end before Gideon spoke up again.

“Of course ya would, who d’ya think I am, _Pines_?” He could hear the frustrated sneer on Gideon's face even over the phone. His hands were probably shaking too, DIpper chuckled away from the phone, the little troll was too easily angered. It wasn’t as fun since Gideon had bodyguards nowadays but Dipper still liked to piss him off every once in a while. 

“Dunno how to answer that, Gideon. Do you want me to be honest?” Dipper smirked before he sat down in a kitchen chair, his feet still sore from working outside.

“GOD- will ya do it or not, Dipper? I need to know.” Gideon's tone turned dark, he was treating it as if the lifting Dipper would be doing was life or death.

“Sure, I don’t see why not. It isn’t like I have anything else to do.” Dipper looked at his nails, mentally reminding himself he needed to trim them if he didn’t then Stan might turn him into an attraction, **“The boy who never clips his nails!”** flashing through his head.

“Good, then ya better start haulin’ ass and get over here, boy. ‘M not gonna wait all damn day.” Gideon snapped before he hung up, Dipper wondered if his face was red like it usually was when he got mad. Dipper hung the phone up before finishing up his sandwich, washing it down with a glass of water before he told Stan that he was going out and that he’d be back later. 

He elected to take his truck instead of the golf cart, he didn’t wanna exhaust the old thing too badly, if he did Stan would probably make him do all the chores for the rest of the year. He started the old thing up and drove to the main road that led into town. He forgot that there was the stranger's blood on the seat if he had remembered he would’ve washed them.

“Too late now...hope the guy made it out okay.” Dipper sighed softly, taking the turn that would lead him to Gideon's house, reminding himself that he couldn’t speed during the day. When he got there he tried his best to parallel park but that just wasn’t his strong suit. Surprisingly, it was Mabel’s. Dipper got out and walked up the stone path before knocking, snorting at the “Pardon this garden” sign hanging on the door, the string looking like it had to be repaired a couple times. He didn’t have to wait long before the door opened and he was met with Gideon's face. 

“Wow, ya actually showed up. Color me surprised, Pines. Now get in here and help me move this crap.” Gideon practically barked the order before showing Dipper into the house. His parents weren’t there, they hadn’t been for a while since they’ve been vacationing for a couple months now. Dipper supposed the house would be quaint if such an unappreciative ass didn’t live in it. Dipper shook his head, clearing his thoughts before he clapped his hands together and shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Where is said heavy crap, Gid? Can’t lift what I don’t see, man.” Dipper shrugged and smirked when Gideon turned to glare at him for the much-hated nickname Dipper gave him. 

“It’s in the basement, I need ya to move it upstairs.” Gideon all but growled out the words while he was trying to busy himself in the kitchen, doing something with tea and lemons.

“Kay, guess I’ll make myself busy then.” Dipper announced and headed down to the basement, thankful that the boxes he had to move were already sectioned off from the other storage. He lifted the first box, grunting as he carefully took it upstairs. _‘Fuckin’ H what is in these things? Bricks? Ugh, I wouldn’t be surprised if Gideon did that just to see me struggle’_ Dipper bitched to himself, huffing as he set the box down and went back downstairs to get another box. It was surprisingly just as heavy, if not more so. Once Dipper got all the boxes out of the basement, he shuffled into the living room, not surprised to see Gideon in the recliner popping his knuckles. DIpper plopped down on the couch before wiping his forehead.

“All done, Gidsy, anything else you need me to do?” Dipper teased him tiredly, snorting when Gideon glared at him again. 

“Nope, yer all done. I’ll go get your... _payment_.” Gideon sneered at him, getting up before heading into the kitchen and opening a cupboard for a moment before he brought back a tray of two glasses of sweet iced tea, usually meant for summer but Dipper welcomed it nonetheless. 

“Aw shit man, you didn’t have to. Thanks.” Dipper gladly took the cold drink, taking a small sip before rubbing the cold glass against his heated face, sighing happily as he started to cool down. He glanced out one of the windows, watching the sunset. Was it really that time already? He’d have to be home quick to make dinner. Dipper wondered if maybe Ford would get it this time. They usually took turns but Ford tended to add exotic things to their meals as if they were his guinea pigs.

Gideon kept quiet, for the most part. But the way he was staring at Dipper was making him uneasy. Dipper sent him an uneasy smile before downing most of his drink. 

“Do all southerners make kickass sweet tea or is this just a family recipe?” Dipper grinned, looking at his drink and hoping to dispel the uneasy tension. 

“Family recipe, not all those born in the south can make it like Mom and Pop do. Not even restaurants.” Gideon said proudly as he sipped his tea, a weird smirk on his face.

“Well, I should get going, gotta make dinner for the Stans. You know how it is.” Dipper got off the couch, legs feeling like jelly. Dipper chalked it up to sitting down too long after working hard. He pulled his clean flannel around his shoulders a little tighter, a weird feeling in his chest. He was going to have to take his anxiety medication when he got home, this was ridiculous.

“Oh, of course, tell them I said hello, Dipper.” Gideon's grin widened a bit when Dipper nearly lost his footing against the rug before he raised a brow at his drink, His tongue felt strangely thick as if he hadn’t drunk anything all day. Realization dawned across his face before his face contorted into a pissed off frown. 

“You fucker, did you put somethin’ in m’drink?” Dipper glared as much as he could without feeling like he was gonna puke. He used the wall to balance himself, though it didn’t help him much.

“Who? Li’l ole me? Ya got me, Pines. Now don’t make this a struggle, I don’t wanna hurt ya. Or maybe I do.” Gideon slowly got up from his place on the recliner, slowly stalking toward Dipper. 

“Just wanted to have a little chat with ya, seein’ as you’re the reason Mabel left me to go to LA.” Gideon’s smirk made Dipper’s stomach do a flip. This couldn’t be happening. Was Gideon still pissed about that? That was nearly a year ago! Dipper tried to form words but his mouth stopped working as his hands started trembling and he felt like he was going to pass out. The most he could do was make sounds and back away as Gideon got closer to him. Dipper all but whimpered when Gideon struck, his hand squeezing Dipper’s throat and slamming him against the wall. He felt tears prick his eyes but he couldn’t do anything but struggle. Was this actually happening?

Dipper managed to roll his eyes as Gideon started a monologue that had to do with Mabel and her going to LA _obviously_ Dipper’s doing. Dipper called on all his strength before he managed to spit in the little trolls face. Dipper doesn’t regret it, even if it made Gideon even more pissed off.

“Damn it all.” Gideon chuckled, letting go of Dipper to wipe the liquid off his face with his handkerchief. Dipper glanced down at the pocket Gideon took the hanky from, noticing it also housed Gideons turquoise plated pocket knife, a simple flip open one. Dipper’s actions were slow but he managed to grab it and pull it open before he sank the thing into Gideon's shoulder, causing him to cry out, sounding like a stuck pig. Dipper stumbled over his lead filled legs, panting harshly as he felt like he was running a marathon yet he was just running to the door.

Dipper fumbled with the doorknob before he managed to open it, he was almost out before he was hit across the head with something blunt (he’d later find out it was a bat), he yelped loudly before he turned around and punched Gideon in the face, good to hit them when they were least expecting it, at least that’s what his grunkles taught him. He managed to distract Gideon long enough to stumble past the wrought iron fence around the property. Dipper could hear his blood rushing in his ears, literally. He reached up and touched something sticky running down the side of his head. Though his brain couldn’t make the connection that it was his blood. 

He stopped focusing on his head so he could focus on getting away, his truck wasn’t an option since he could hardly see without feeling dizzy. He elected to start running, he managed to get to the road before he tripped and fell. He felt tiny rocks digging into his face and palms, he had to get back up though. His head was screaming at him to get up, to get to safety. While on the road he noticed familiar pink boots across the street, though he couldn’t remember where he remembered them from. He managed to get up on his knees and start crawling before Gideon inevitably caught up to him, kicking him in the stomach, making him cry out before he felt tears slipping past his cheeks. He usually hated crying in front of people he wasn’t close with but he really didn’t have a choice right now.

He nearly blacked out before he heard familiar sounds...gunshots? Who would be shooting at a time of day like this? He crawled a bit more when the kicks to his stomach stopped. His ears were ringing from all the gunshot-like sounds, whimpering as he felt his stomach twist in pain from the assault on his torso. He nearly got across the street before he collapsed again, his body finally knocking him mostly unconscious. He groaned in pain before he felt strong arms start to pick him up, making what was left of Dipper’s consciousness swim dizzily. He kept hearing the gunshots before suddenly they stopped and he heard voices above him.

The last thing he heard before he slipped entirely into sleep was a female voice say “Poor guppy…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the chores part long because that's how I always feel with my executive dysfunction when I try to do chores.
> 
> Can you tell that Gideon isn't my fave, canon Gid is okay but in this fic he's the woooooooorsssstttt heheheh >;3c


	4. chappy 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets babied like the fool he is and meets more of the hechmaniacs. More plot is revealed, things unknown about the town are found out, and will we meet the mystery man Dipper saved at the beginning of all this?  
> (plus more dialogue)
> 
> Stay tuned! >;3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!<3  
> Lemme know if there's any errors!

The first thing Dipper remembers seeing when he half-woke up was an unfamiliar ceiling and room, though he couldn't really move his neck, his head was killing him. He doesn’t know how he got here or why he was here but he couldn’t care at the moment. His eyes slipped closed and he fell asleep again. The next time he woke up, his head felt stuffy and he groaned at an awful headache he had. Did he go drinking last night after Gideon’s? He gathered his wits as much as he could before he attempted to sit up...SHIT! That’s what had happened! The fucker drugged him and...and the rest was a blur, a messy painful blur. 

He threw the thick blankets off of himself and got up before a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him and he had to sit back down, laying his head in his hands. He started to take in his surroundings, the nightstand next to him with a glass of water and two pills on it. Yeah right, he wasn’t stupid, like he was gonna take random pills in a strange place. There were some paintings in the room, mostly of landscapes. A tall lamp in the corner, and some vintage looking curtains covering the window and a vanity in the other corner. Even though they were made of thick material, Dipper could tell it was well into the morning and possibly past noon. He groaned again and tried to rub his temples before bandages stopped him. When had he gotten bandages?

He shook his head before slowly getting back up, using furniture to help stabilize himself before he made it over to the vanity, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit though he felt like his head got ran over a few times. He sighed before looking at the door before looking at the bed again. That was weird, his shoes were nowhere in sight, maybe he was mugged and they took his shoes. 

“Dunno why they would, they weren’t even expensive.” He grumbled to himself, carefully shuffling over to the door before trying the knob. Dipper gave half a smile when it opened, glad he wasn’t locked in a room in whoever’s house it was. He opened it enough to get by before closing it again, looking around and finding the house he was in was fairly standard. A hallway with a room at the end of the hall and a bathroom between them, two bedrooms and one bathroom so far, pretty regular for the houses in Gravity Falls. He trudged up to the bathroom before locking himself in it. He turned on the faucet and cupped his hands, filling them with water before bringing it up to his mouth. He was careful not to drink to fast unless he wanted to empty the contents of his stomach. 

When he was done washing his hands after doing his business, he eyed the stairs at the other end of the hall, not sure if he was able to make them. He had to try though. He shuffled over and gripped the railing like a lifeline, taking the steps one at a time. He eventually made it down. The house reminded him of his parents’ place in California. He wasn’t sure to go from there, he just tried not to get overwhelmed at all the things that were going through his head. When he heard voices coming from the kitchen, he looked up. He wasn’t sure who’s house he as in but he was sure that they would know how he got here. He used the furniture as support again, peeking his head into the kitchen. Who he saw were the dynamic duo he saw at the market yesterday, plus some new faces that he didn’t recognize.

A man who had a tiny pacifier on a necklace around his neck and another man who had an 8-ball tattoo over a large scar on the back of his neck. They seemed very involved about whatever they were talking about. Dipper guessed the woman had hearing like a bat because she snapped her head up and looked at him before scowling.

“You should be in bed, guppy. You need t’heal. If ya don’t I’ll give you a reason to heal.” She shook her fist at him but walked over to where he was standing and started looking him over, grabbing his head and turning it at all sorts of angles. At the fiery woman’s seemingly empty threat, the others looked up as well, noticing the sickly young adult standing in the threshold of the kitchen and living room. The man with the 8-ball tattoo spoke first, standing quickly when the woman turned Dipper’s head at the wrong angle, causing him to cry out. 

“You okay kid? ‘Ronnie knock on your head too hard?” The man gave a goofy grin before grabbing Dipper’s forearm and dragging him into the kitchen, sitting him down in a chair before sitting down next to him. This Ronny seemed unpleased with the man's comment because she socked him in the arm.

“I hardly touched him, Eighty, so shut yer mouth.” She huffed and sat down on the other side of Dipper, leaning on her hand as she half watched Dipper and half glared at the man. Dipper looked around confusedly, looking at the man deemed “Eighty”. 

“W-Who are you guys? And...and what am I doing here? What happened last night?” Dipper didn’t think he sounded demanding and yet all three of them raised their eyebrows at him. “What? These are legitimate questions!” Dipper huffed softly, rubbing his forehead as his headache pulsed. 

The pink woman leaned close, chuckling before looking him up and down before answering. “Why do you wanna know, guppy?”

“Why? I-I think I have a right to know why I woke up in a strange house filled by people I don’t know. F-For all I know, you guys kidnapped me.” Dipper crossed his arms, giving an almost feeble pout.

Eighty barked a laugh before wiping a fake tear from his eye, leaning on the table before answering Dipper’s questions. “One: We didn’t kidnap ya kid, in fact, we saved your life. You would’ve been dead in a basement if it weren’t for us. Two: As for why you’re here, we didn’t have the time to take you to the hospital to fix you up so we took you to the next best place. Three: As for who we are, it’s best you don’t know, kid-”

“Bullshit, don’t give me that Edward Cullen “you shouldn’t talk to me, I’m dangerous” shit. A-And why did you save my life? What happened last night?” Dipper interrupted the man, a determined look on his face. The other man was obviously surprised by the outburst but smiled nonetheless.

“Would you believe me if I said we’re part of the mafia? And judging by how you’re still very much alive, I’d say we’re the good guys, ya know what I mea-”

“I call bullshit, 8-ball, just last week you were trying to find out if there were any hookers in this backwater town.” The last man spoke, scaring Dipper a bit, he’d forgotten the man was there. Though Dipper couldn’t help but start laughing at the prospect. Hookers? In Gravity Falls? As if. They looked to him, eyebrows raised yet again, probably wondering why he was laughing.

“Are you serious? There aren’t any hookers in Gravity Falls! There’s nothing like that here.” Dipper kept laughing, covering his mouth before abruptly stopping when a pang of white hot pain shot up his spine and into the back of his head, making him give off a pained whimper. Before he knew it, a hand was on his shoulder, trying to help him relax. He smiled softly at the gesture, it reminded him of when his twin would comfort him when he had migraines. 

“Oh, you’re so innocent, guppy. You may think this town is pure and just sunny days but there’s so much ya don't know. Just the other day, I had to pick up Hector from the strip club!” She rolled her soft brown eyes, recalling the event. Hector had been there to investigate and yet when She came up to get him, he had kiss marks on his cheeks and he reeked of alcohol.

“What strip club? I’ve lived in this town since I was a kid, and I have NEVER seen a club like that.” It was Dipper’s turn to raise his eyebrow at the group, what were they talking about? Not even Stan had mentioned something like that, and Dipper was sure Stan would’ve taken him for his 18th birthday.

“Oh kid, you’re so innocent. Well, be prepared for that to come crashing down. So yeah, to answer your earlier questions: I’m Pacifier, the girl with fire on her head is Veronica but we call her Pyronica cuz she likes the hot pinks and has a penchant for setting shit on fire, The dummy you were manhandled by earlier is Eddie, but we just call him 8-ball, since he always has the best luck...for some reason. Aaaaand this quiet crow is Teeth! Don’t piss him off or he’ll break your face in 6 different ways. Hector is another one of the boss’s guys, Ronny is the only chick tough enough to run with us, though.” Pacifier teased, a grin on his face. 

“As for what happened last night, you were attacked by the local underground mafia boss Gideon Gleeful, the piece of shit drugged you. Dunno why though, he doesn’t really bother the locals. Knocked out with blunt force to the head and the torso. You were bleeding from the ears and head and Teeth had to carry you here. He doesn’t mind though since he’s a big ole softiiiieeee.” Pacifier teased again, this time earning a deathly cold glare to the man.

“W-Wait, what? Local underground mafia boss? The rumors about Gravity Falls getting its own mafia were true? I-I thought they were just bullshit, though!” Dipper panicked a bit, so the rumors really were true? Even his great-uncles didn’t know that. He definitely couldn’t tell them though, or he’d be grounded for the rest of his life.

“Nah kid, they aren’t rumors. Yer lookin at a mafia, well, some of it anyways.” Pyronica spoke up, clearly proud of the title mobster that being in a mafia earned you. 

“And Gideon is a mafia boss too? I thought the little shit was just trying to get his revenge on me cause my sister moved to LA to go to college, guess not…” Dipper looked up when no-one replied, confused as to why they were silent Dipper elaborated. “Long story short, Gideon has been obsessed with my sister ever since we were 12, and last year when she went to college with her fiance, Pacifica, Gideon blamed it on me even though it was Mabel’s choice to go.” Dipper sighed, rubbing his head again before continuing. “And who is this other mafia boss? Why aren’t they here...doing mob boss stuff?” Dipper looked at Pacifier before the rest of them.

“Cause guppy, bossman is in the hospital, that little shit you mentioned fucked him up something awful,” Pyronica answered, seeming almost sad about it. 

“I-Is he okay?” Dipper asked cautiously as he softened his tone, treating it as a sensitive subject, not wanting to upset anyone. “The boss guy, I mean.” 

“Yeah, he’s gettin’ out soon but the damage was still done. He’ll bounce back though, bossman always does.” 8-ball added, folding his hands on the table before reaching in his pocket and getting out a deck of cards, which seemingly lightened the mood by a whole lot. Pyronica turned her chair so that she could play and Dipper just set his head back, grumbling softly. The Stans would be so worried about him, he knew that for sure. He’d probably get yelled at by Stan for worrying him so much and Ford would definitely lecture him on being responsible. He looked at Pacifier before speaking.

“Hey uh, c-could I use the phone? My family is probably really worried.” Dipper gave him a half smile, rubbing the back of his neck before quickly pulling his hand away as if he’d been burnt, his head still hurt like a bitch. Maybe he _should’ve_ taken the pills on his nightstand after all. 

“Sure kid, here ya go.” Pacifier reached into his pocket before tossing the phone to Dipper, though he was mostly focusing on the card game going on currently.

“Thanks, and its Dipper. I’m not a kid.” Dipper was sassing the man when he really shouldn't be. He dialed the shacks number before putting it to his ear and waiting, it rung a couple times before Stan answered with a gruff ‘hello?’.

“H-Hi Great-uncle Stan, it’s me Dipper. Just checking in since-” 

“Mason, do you know how worried me and Ford were last night? When you didn’t come back home after doin’ whatever errands you were doing? We were worried fucking SICK, Mason!” Stan all but yelled into the receiver, he was mad at Dipper for not taking his phone with him, Dipper was an adult and he could handle his own but that was no excuse to worry the shit out of his family with his shenanigans. Stan and Ford were a little overprotective, but they had to be with Dipper, what with how much bullshit the kid got himself into.

Dipper visibly winced at the brash use of his birth name, Stan only used it when he was upset, so Dipper knew he really fucked up. It wasn’t like he could help it though! 

“S-Sorry Stan, I had to pull over cause I was starting to fall asleep at the wheel. I should’ve called you, I’m sorry for worrying you and grunkle Ford. I’ll make it up by doing the rest of the weeks- no the rest of the month's chores this week. Pinky Promise.” Dipper smiled into the receiver, he knew Stan was only being harsh because he cared, and Dipper appreciated that.

“Good ya brat, now when do you think you’ll be home _today_? You still owe us those burgers from yesterday.” He could hear the smile on Stans' face before he answered that he’d be home sometime that evening. They both agreed on it and hung up, Dipper handing the phone back to Pacifier before he clunked his head on the table, groaning a bit loudly. When Pacifier laughed and asked him how deep in shit he was with the missus Dipper snorted.

“It would be Mister for me, man, and Nah, I’m single as a Pringle, though my great-uncles were pissed I didn’t cook dinner last night.” Dipper smiled at the expression his sister used often. Pacifier raised a brow and shrugged. “Hey man, whoever makes you happy. It ain’t my place to judge.” He finished only to have Pyronica turn around and stick her tongue between a peace-sign, winking at them. At least they accepted Dipper for who he was instead of beating the shit out of him, like some people. He guessed that if he played his cards right, they would be very good friends for him. Dipper smiled softly before looking around, still curious as to where his shoes were. And not just his shoes but his truck too! 

“Hey uh, did you guys take my truck or is it still at Gleeful’s house? If it is, can I go get it? Also, where are my shoes? Don’t wanna walk around barefoot outside if I can help it.” Dipper grinned, trying to make a joke but accepting that it just wasn’t his strong suit.

“Don’t worry Guppy, we got your truck and your shoes are near the wash, they had broken glass stuck in them so we made 8-ball clean ‘em up. As for who you murdered in your truck, don’t worry, we won’t snitch. It just happens sometimes.” Pyronica chirped, happy that she was winning at cards, not at all disturbed that she thought that Dipper had murdered someone.

“W-What?? I didn’t murder anybody, what are you talking about?” Dipper guessed that they saw the stranger’s blood on his seat covers. He grumbled, bitching at his 10 track mind for forgetting to wash and/or replace the covers. “I didn’t murder anybody, I had to take some dude to the hospital. It was really crazy, I was just working the night shift at the Dusk2Dawn mini-mart and there was a, I wanna say it was a shootout but the other person left when they thought the first guy was done for. Either way, I took the guy to the hospital and just haven’t gotten around to washing the covers.”

The room seemed to freeze but the tension was broken by Py, whose tone was strangely cold and serious.

“And when was this _accident_ , Guppy fish?” She spoke as she shuffled the cards, she didn’t even have to look at him to tell that she was starting to make him uncomfortable.

“Uh like, Monday night? Or, technically Tuesday morning since it was past midnight. I hope the guy made it out okay, though I’m sure he did.” Dipper looked on the bright side again, as he usually tried to. 

“Yeah, that’s the spirit, Guppy. The guy made it out just fine.” She gave a smile that unsettled Dipper, her eyes cold, hard, and far away. Dipper grinned back and joined Pacifier and Teeth in watching the two play cards, though it was super obvious 8-ball was cheating. And eventually, Pyronica caught on too, since she kicked him in the shin, which caused him to laugh as he rubbed the offending spot.

An hour or so passed before Dipper heard a car outside, making him look up and causing a brow to raise. He wasn’t sure who it as but knew that if it was someone bad, that he’d be in good hands. He heard two men talking, coming closer to the door before the knob started to jiggle and Dipper tensed. He couldn’t help it, his fight-or-flight response was ringing through his ears and making his neck itch. Though Dipper supposed that the itch could also be caused by the head trauma he suffered last night, his wounds always itched.

When the two finally came in, Dipper was almost afraid to look over, it could be anybody! His anxiety was swelling and made his grip on the table a little tighter and his palms a little sweatier. He took a shaky breath before he gathered his courage and turned around. What he saw was not what he was expecting. It was the Man!! The man he rescued on Monday night/Tuesday morning! He was looking a lot better, his nose bruised but back in place, new slacks to replace the old bloody ones, his eye was heavily bandaged but the eye that wasn’t covered seem to look right through Dipper and into his soul. Dipper might be over exaggerating but it’s what it felt like to him! The man's caramel skin smooth and flawless besides his scars, his blond hair much brighter now that it wasn’t caked in blood, and the previously dislocated arm was in a sling, held close to the man's suit-clad chest. He raised a brow curiously at Dipper when he noticed him staring.

“Is there something on my face or do you just like what you see, kid?” The man smirked, though he was still curious who the boy was and why he was at their HQ. The man next to him rolled his eyes dramatically as if just listening to the injured man speak was embarrassing. The second man was cleanly shaven with his hair cut neatly and styled back, he looked like a businessman, they all sort of did since most of them wore fitted suits. The second man must’ve been the Hector that Pyronica mentioned earlier.

Dipper stood up so fast he toppled the chair he was sitting in, his head and vision swimming from the sudden change. “H-HOLY SHIT, You're the guy! You’re okay! Holy fuck!” DIpper knew he was making a fool of himself but he couldn’t help it, he thought this guy was dead and suddenly he isn’t? He wouldn’t rest until he got to the bottom of what was going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter at night because I was too busy melting in the 80 degree heat during the day -_-;;  
> Pls send me ice cubes.
> 
> I've also noticed that each chapter has been getting longer than the last, if i'm not careful I might end up with 15 pages! Tho I'm sure you guys wouldn't mind ;>  
> I also didn't mean the Twilight comment, the series is okay.  
> (PS PoS stands for parieto-occipital sulcus, it's a part of your brain but basically it's just the back part of your head. It's generally where Gideon hit with the bat in chappy 3)  
> Also sorry for not knowing how new yorkers actually talk, i've never been to the east coast.


	5. chappy 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper meets the weirdly sarcastic mafia boss whose life he saved, shenanigans and apologies ensue, and Dipper viciously denies that he thinks the bossman's butt is cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> Lemme know if there are any errors.<3
> 
> !!There's gonna be some POV changes in this chapter, none too drastic though. Just a warning!!

“The guy?” Both the men raised an eyebrow, looking at Dipper like he was nuts.

“YEAH! Th-the guy! I saw you at the mini-mart on Monday night! Y-You were all messed up, bloody and stuff.” Dipper quieted down a bit, realizing he was nearly yelling.

“Wait what? How did you-” The man looked confused, eyebrows knitting together as he tried to connect the dots.

“I drove you to the hospital because you had your shootout in the Dusk2Dawn’s parking lot, where I was working the night shift. You got blood on my truck’s seat covers.” Dipper’s eyes lit up as he spoke, ecstatic that he was actually talking to the man he saved. He couldn’t believe it was him. He gave a wide smile, walking up to the man before frowning when he realized the guy was taller than him. ‘ _we can’t all be winners_ ’ Dipper thought to himself. The man seemed to realize what Dipper was talking about because his jaw dropped a bit before he looked Dipper up and down.

“So...what you’re trying to say is that you went into the parking lot after a shootout when the other guy left and just plucked me out of the car? Not even knowing who I was or how dangerous I am?” The guy seemed like he didn’t believe Dipper, after all, he just looked like a local country bumpkin. Didn’t this kid know who he was? Obviously not by the way he was smiling at him.

“Well yeah, of course I did. It doesn’t matter who you are, nobody deserves to die just because they’re uh...ya know, a-a mobster. Mobsters are people too.” Dipper shrugged, wringing his hands and rocking back on his feet. “Plus your car exploded because of a gas leak, so it was good I got you when I did.” He gave an uneasy laugh, Dipper wasn’t one for morbid jokes, they made him rather uncomfortable. 

“Wait what? The car exploded?” The man seemed surprised by this like he expected the car to do something else when it crashed. The other’s seemed mildly put off by this as well because they migrated from the kitchen to standing around Dipper and the man. 

“Well yeah, what do you expect? The gas tank probably got a hole shot in it. Plus exposed wires and the gasoline on the ground. It was bound to happen eventually, man. That’s what usually what happens, anyway.” Dipper rubbing his neck before wincing visibly, he had forgotten about his head injury in the heat of the moment. He felt a hand on his shoulder for the second time today, it was Py again. 

“Th-thanks, that really helps.” Dipper gave her a half smile, lightly rubbing the temple that had the bandages on it.

“Wait, Pyronica, what happened to him? I’m the one who’s supposed to be bandaged, not him. If he’s got a head wound he shouldn’t even be standing up.” The man gestured at Dipper with his good arm before grabbing Dipper’s wrist and dragging him over to the couch with a vice-like grip, a warm vice-like grip. Dipper resented being thrown around like an injured ragdoll but wasn’t about to voice it, he knew they were just worried about him. He still huffed when he was forcefully sat down, how did the man even do that with only one arm? Dipper wasn’t sure but he was pulled back into reality when the man sat next to him. What really got Dipper’s goat was the fact that he was also forced to lay his head on the man’s lap. He struggled profusely, objecting to the treatment. Gratefulness be damned.

“HEY! No! W-What are you doing!” Dipper voiced his concerns loudly, looking at the others for help, but they just rolled their eyes. Except for Pyronica, who took a picture of them. The man must’ve gotten sick of Dipper’s volume because he covered Dippers mouth with his hand. Hah, this man didn’t know what or who he was dealing with. Dipper grew up with a colorfully obnoxious ball of energy, he knew all the shortcuts. The man soon pulled his hand back like he’d been burned, his face contorting (hilariously) into disgust.

“Did you just lick my fucking hand?” The man was distracted enough for Dipper to get away, trying to get up but the man was obviously having fun toying with him, sticking his foot out so Dipper would trip. And he did. He fell to the floor with a loud yelp. Dipper sat up and hissed in pain as he touched his bottom lip, which was welling up with blood since the fall caused him to bite into it. Dipper snapped his head toward the man, half-heartedly glaring at him. It was hard to take someone seriously when there are tears in their eyes and blood on their chin.

“Aw shit, guppy are you okay? Bill treat you too rough?” Pyronica walked over and helped Dipper up, giving a soft ‘yikes’ when she saw the fresh wound.

Dipper nodded and shuffled past the group and up the stairs to the bathroom so he could clean up. His head was feeling better but now his face hurt, he just couldn’t catch a break this week, could he? When he made it to the bathroom, he grumbled as he quickly wiped the tears out of his eyes. Grabbing some toilet paper and wetting it under the faucet, he begun cleaning his chin. He wasn’t surprised when he looked back at himself and there was a smile. This man was determined to make Dipper jump through hoops to earn his friendship, though He wasn’t expecting to be friends at first sight. Dipper always did like a challenge, this was going to be fun.

\--------

Bill pouted as Pyronica sent him a fiery glare, trying to back up when she started approaching him. He was defenseless when she sat down next to him and grabbed his cheek and pulled hard. 

“You dumbass! Is that how you treat the guy who saved your stupid ass?! You didn’t have to be such an jerk to him so soon, Bill.” She scolded fiercely, punching him in his hurt arm so he knew he was in trouble. The effect was almost immediate, Bill hissed in pain and pulled away from her, rubbing his still very sore arm.

“He licked my hand! What’d you expect!” Bill huffed, he knew his excuse was lame but he was honestly just playing around. He looked at the others for support but found nothing but more upset faces. Seeing Teeth mad at him wasn’t something he was used to or was planning on getting used to either,

“How do we know he’s the one who actually saved me? His friend could’ve done it and he took the credit for it. We can’t know for sure.” Bill looked at the opposite wall, away from all the glares.

“We do know for sure though boss, there’s surveillance videos and he wasn’t lying about the blood you got on his truck. I’ve seen it for myself. It’s gross. You can even ask the hospital staff since he’s the one that brought you there.” 8-ball piped up, giving an upset stare that made Bill’s chest hurt with guilt. He pouted a few more minutes, being unusually stubborn before he gave in. 

“What do you want me to do? The kid probably won’t talk to me now-” Bill started ranting but was cut off by Py, who told him to just go apologize before he made things worse and then kicked Bill off the couch and sat herself down, turning the TV and flipping it to a random channel, the others following her and gathering on the couch and on the floor near the coffee table. 

Bill cursed under his breath as he climbed the stairs, he was going to apologize eventually, they didn’t have to all gang up on him. He hung his head and groaned as he made his way to the bathroom, leaning against the wall before knocking on the door and waiting. When a couple minutes passed with no response he voiced his presence.

“C’mon kid, you can’t hide in there forever.” Bill pouted, rubbing at his chest and trying to get the heartburn-like feeling to go away, though he knew the guilt in his chest wouldn’t go away until he made amends with the kid. He was surprised when the door actually opened and the kid popped his head out, toilet paper stuck to his lip like he nicked it shaving.

“Do you need something or have you just come to harass me some more?” The kid raised a brow and...and smirked? Was this kid laughing at him? Whatever, best to get this over with.

“Look, kid, about earlier, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I guess I just have a lot of pent-up energy from being in the hospital but that’s still no excuse to treat ya like crap. So, we good?” He held his good hand out and tilted his head at him if this didn’t work then Bill might have to charm his way into the kid's good graces.

“Oh, that? Yeah, it hurt like a bitch since I’m still recovering from yesterday but I’m okay. I grew up with an obnoxiously energetic twin sister, you can’t do much that I haven’t already been through. So yeah, we’re cool.” The kid clapped a hand into his and grinned wider, before leaning closer.

“What? I mean, I know I’m hard to look at but you don’t gotta be rude, kid.” Bill rolled his eyes- eye at him, though he was just playing around. Mostly.

“My name is Dipper, and I’m not a kid, I’m 20. You’re not hard to look at, I’m just looking at your nose. The first time I saw you it was broken at a nasty angle. I’m glad you’re getting better though. For a while there I thought you died.” Dipper rubbed his arm before lightly punching Bill’s shoulder, a goofy smile on his face. Bill blinked a few times before snorting and rubbing the side of his neck before returning the smile.

“Bill, 22, and don’t worry it takes a lot more than that to kill me, thanks for worrying about me though. By the way, how _did_ you get all banged up? You get run over or something?” Bill joked, the feeling in his chest turning into something more light and ticklish, it kinda reminded him of the feeling you get when you go down a steep incline on a rollercoaster. 

“Huh? Oh, uh nah. This asshole I’ve known since I came here as a kid drugged me then beat the shit out of me, I was lucky that Py and Teeth were there to save me. Gideon’s only gotten worse since we were kids.” Dipper explained and then frowned when Bill’s face contorted into a stony mask of anger, it sent shivers down Dipper’s spine. The kid had to remember he was talking to an actual mafia boss.

“Gideon? As in Gideon Gleeful, local underground mafia boss Gideon?” Bill’s voice was cold but he couldn’t help himself. Gideon nearly killed him in that parking lot and now he was going after locals? It was worse than Bill had thought.

\--------

Dipper wasn’t sure what it was he said but Bill seemed to shut down, what really surprised Dipper though was how fast the man made it to the end of the hall and down the stairs before Dipper started to hear yelling downstairs. It was mostly Bill though. Shit shit shit shit. Dipper raced after him, not wanting things to escalate because of him. He got down to the landing, he shrunk a bit, the situation had already escalated and Bill was yelling at his lackeys. Dipper couldn’t hear much of it because everyone was talking at once and over each other, so he just stayed back and tried not to get involved. What really made Dipper flinch though is when Bill pulled a gun out of his suit jacket and everyone quieted down.

“-fuckin’ it, that piece of shit is dead.” Bill growled and made for the door. Dipper panicked, Bill wasn’t in good enough shape to get in a gunfight right now! Dipper found it hard to believe he was in this situation right now but he just had to deal with it. He was moving before he knew it and was snatching the gun out of the angered man’s hand before he realized what he had done. All of them seemed to look at Dipper and he gave an uneasy laugh when Bill glared heavily at him.

“Give me back my fucking gun, Dipper.” He moved to take it from Dipper but he moved before Bill could get it. Dipper knew this game all too well, his sister and he used to do it all the time when the other wanted something the other had. Before Bill could try and take it again Dipper was already up the stairs and into the room he woke up in, locking the door behind him. He knew this was especially dangerous since he was in a house full of (technically) murderers, but he wasn’t going to let his hard work go to shit because Bill decided to be stupid and get himself killed. He could already hear Bill cursing like a sailor while coming up the stairs. Dipper had to act fast or he’d have to throw it out the window if push came to shove. Dipper didn’t know much about guns but knew enough to tell that throwing a loaded gun out of a high up place was a bad idea. 

Fuck, he was running out of time. He looked around the room and in haste shoved it far under the bed where Bill wouldn’t be able to reach it without a lot of trouble because of his hurt arm. _‘Good job, Dipper, quick thinking.’_ He thought to himself before he was startled out of his thinking at Bill literally kicking the door open. Oh boy, he looked pissed. It didn’t matter, Dipper wasn’t going to let Bill be stupid.

“Give. Me. My. Fucking. Gun. Dipper.” He got out through gritted teeth, glaring death at the shorter man.

“You’re gonna have to fight me for it, Bill. Cause you’re being dumb right now, you’re just gonna end up getting yourself hurt worse.” Dipper huffed at him before cracking his knuckles, thinking that he could hear more people coming up the stairs while Bill just groaned loudly, running a hand through his hair and tousling the once neatly combed hair. 

“You fucking asked for it, kid.” Bill puffed his chest up before cracking his neck and sent another glare Dipper’s way, looking like a bull about to charge.

“I told you, it’s Dipper, and I’m not a kid.” He grunted when he dodged the fist that Bill sent his way. Dipper had to move quickly or he would get his ass kicked. All of the days being taught by his great-uncles and all of the days spent training with them kicked in and Dipper swiped Bill’s foot out from under him, unsteadying his stance and mentally apologizing to Bill before sending a punch to his stomach, successfully punching the air from him before Dipper circled him and kicked Bill’s knees into buckling, sending the man to the floor before Dipper got behind him and pushed him flat on the floor, sitting on the small of his back.

“I told you, man. You aren’t getting that fuckin’ gun.” Dipper shrugged, shifting his weight down and pinning BIll to the ground. When he heard a gasp he looked up, seeing the others from downstairs watching Dipper with gaping mouths. Even Teeth’s eyes were wide, and that was saying something. 8-ball broke the silence with a ‘holy shit’ and the rest of them nodded. “What? Never seen anybody fight before?” Dipper looked at all the gaping jaws before Pacifier spoke next.

“No kid, we’ve seen the boss get into fights before but we’ve just never seen him go down so fast. It’sa new record.” 

“This wasn’t even me at my best, I could’ve done it quicker if I really needed to.” He made sure to give Bill enough room to lift his head up but not enough to get up.

“Fine kid, ya won fair and square. Congrats and all that shit now get off. This suit is worth more than this house.” Bill hissed out, upset that he was taken down so fast. He was more surprised than all of them that the fight ended when it had barely started. 

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here. It’s comfy.” Dipper made a point to go almost deadweight on the man under him before he heard laughing.

“Thanks for telling me my ass is cushy enough to sit on but really, you’re hurting my back.” Bill turned his head and smirked back at Dipper, winking (blinking?) at Dipper. Dipper’s cheeks turned red before he sputtered. “You fucker, your ass isn’t cushy, it’s flat, you jerk!” Dipper huffed and got up, but not before kicking the man between the legs just for making him walk right into the joke. The results were immediate and the man yelped, curling into a ball before taking some deep breaths. Dipper didn’t miss how Bill’s body spasmed in pain, he’d been the victim of one too many kicks to his manhood by bullies and (sometimes accidental) his sister. Dipper stuck his nose up before scooting past the others, who either seemed to help Bill onto the bed or just have fun watching him get what was coming to him, before heading back downstairs.

He didn’t wanna snoop but he _did_ have to find his shoes and maybe his truck keys if they weren’t already in his truck, but he wasn’t about to go outside barefoot to check. He looked around the kitchen and the living room but no luck. He looked near the washer and dryer and found them near a plastic container filled with bloody glass shards, covered in blood or dirt. He checked them for any leftover glass shards before slipping them on. When he didn’t feel anything poking into his feet, he deemed them wearable again. He walked back into the living room and sat on the couch, flipping the TV back on, he couldn’t watch the news because Stan banned him from it, one year it made his anxiety terrible and he nearly had to be admitted to the hospital because he paranoia was getting out of hand. 

He found that “Gossipping Housewives” was on so he kept it there, watching as the housewives gossiped and started drama like they usually did. Only when one of the guys, Pacifier, came down and told Dipper what he did in the heat of the moment was a dick move, literally, and he should probably go apologize. Dipper told Pacifier Bill was a perv and Pacifier said that’s just Bill’s way of being friendly. So Dipper found himself going back up the stairs a third time today before gently knocking on the bedroom door, which was momentarily fixed. 

“Hey, are you in there? Can I come in?” Dipper spoke loud enough for Bill to hear him, but not wanting to disturb Py, who went into the other bedroom to take a nap, all the sudden situations had her a bit stressed out and she needed a break. When Dipper didn’t hear any confirmation, he opened the door anyway, slowly just in case Bill had any projectiles. When he got inside without anything being thrown at his head, he shuffled over to the bed where Bill was bunched up with the blankets, more than likely pouting in pain. Dipper noticed his suit jacket was hung up on a wall hook and shoes below it.

“You okay?” Dipper rose an eyebrow, rocking on his feet again before sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching over and poking Bill in the side. He jumped and swatted DIpper’s hand away before trying to burrow further into the blanket, Dipper didn’t blame him since it was a bit chillier in this room than the rest of the house. Dipper felt bad, he didn’t mean to kick him in the manhood, he just reacted automatically. 

“I’m sorry for earlier, I hope you can forgive me.” Dipper apologized and meant it, scooting further onto the bed and getting under the blanket as well but still giving Bill his space. Bill didn’t seem to care that Dipper was getting close again since he wasn’t moving further away yet. “I...I didn’t mean the thing about your butt either, it’s not flat. It’s...average?” Dipper wasn’t sure how to cheer someone up after telling them they had a flat ass. It seemed to work since Bill started laughing, quietly and muffled by his hand but it got louder as he popped his head out, even snorting a couple times which made him laugh harder.

“Was my apology really that crappy that you have to laugh at it? You’re merciless!” Dipper joked, scooting closer so he was next to Bill instead.

“I won’t accept your apology until you give me your phone number,” Bill announced matter of factly, sitting up carefully and grinning at Dipper, whose cheeks were tinting pink again.

“My number? Why would you want that? What, you gonna call me over to help you bury a body or something?” Dipper teased, though his cheeks weren’t going back to their normal color yet.

“Well I’ll need it, either way, Py wants it so she can check up on you and see if you’re doing ok. PLus you’re one of us now, you already passed your initiation. And even if I did, would you help me?” Bill looked over at him, raising a brow. Dipper waited a minute or so before realizing Bill actually wanted an answer.

“Well uh, maybe? You don’t have to bury someone, this town is literally surrounded by woods filled with carnivorous beasts, magical and not.” Dipper laid back, keeping his feet mostly off the bed since he didn’t wanna get the blanket dirty.

“Magical?” Bill questioned, raising an eyebrow and looking at him like he was crazy. Dipper just snorted and shook his head and dismissed that question. Bill wouldn’t believe him until he saw the actual thing.

“Fine, here’s my number but don’t lose it cause I’m not gonna give it to you again, okay?” Dipper handed him a business card for the Mystery Shack that he had in his pocket, which Bill snorted and looked at Dipper again.

“Are you serious? The Mystery Shack? Is this a joke?” Bill questioned his eyes widened when Dipper shook his head.

“Nah, my great-uncle turned his house into a tourist trap and I live there too. But my number is on the back cause I helped fix it up and modernize it, kinda like a co-owner.” Dipper told him, sitting back up before sliding off the bed to stand up. He had to get going soon.

“Well thanks, Mr. Mystery, I’ll visit this tourist trap sometime, maybe I’ll even catch the co-owner/handyman in his natural habitat.” Bill teased, a smirk on his lips before he crawled up out of the blankets so he could very violently poke Dipper in the side, causing him to yelp and just as violently slap the hand away.

“Asshole...well I gotta get going. My great-uncles are expecting me home today. So uh, see ya later. Or hear you later? Since you’re gonna be calling me or whatever.” Dipper flicked Bill’s forehead before shuffling out, snorting when Bill let out a very loud goodbye. Dipper made it down the stairs and said goodbye to the rest of the group before getting outside and getting into his truck and starting it up before finding his way out of the long twisty driveway, it was out in the sticks, that was for sure. Even more so than the shack. When he got back on the main road, and finally got back into town on his way home he made a mental reminder to call Mabel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, I've been thinking about editing chappy 4, I'm not happy with the way Py learns that Dippy saved Bills life :/, it's just been bugging me. Lemme know how you guys feel about it as well.  
> -I don't actually know how fights work (i've never been in one), i just imagine bill would be weaker cause he's fresh from the hospital.  
> -(Also I finally got around to installing my A/C, so it's super cold and it's greaaaaat)


	6. chappy 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabes and Pazzie are introduced and while bonding with Dipper, Bill wanders his way into something he shouldn't and the creatures of the forest don't like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!<3  
> Lemme know if there are any errors!
> 
> !!There's gonna be POV changes in this chappy, nothing too major though!!

Dipper was glad to be back home, the Stans had grilled him about being responsible and Dipper shot back that pulling over was responsible. He had luckily pulled the bandages off his head in time so he wouldn’t get grilled about that too. They had dinner and Dipper excused himself so he could go up to his room and video chat with Mabel since they haven’t spoken in a while. He pulled his computer up and opened Skype, clicking the call button and waiting. It didn’t take long for her to pick up and she grinned when she saw her twin’s face.

“Dipper! It’s been forever since the last time I’ve seen you! Shame on you for not calling your older sister sooner.” She crossed her arms and fake pouted, her cheeks puffed out.

“One: You’re only 5 minutes older than me, Two: it was only last Sunday the last time we called, Mabel.” Dipper laughed, already relieved to see his sister healthy and well, He trusted Pacifica to take care of her.

“Yeah well, it felt like forever, bro-bro!” She gave a grin to match Dipper’s, her teeth free of braces since she got them removed when she was 17.

“Yeah I know I know. I missed you too, Mabes. How’re my favorite sisters doing at the fancy school in LA? You cut anyone's man bun off yet?” Dipper teased, his eyes crinkled as he held back another laugh or two.

“Oh c’mon Dipper, you really think I’d do that?” Mabel batted her eyelashes, giving him a grin. Dipper laughed loudly when he briefly heard Pacifica in the background agree with Dipper. He watched as Mabel turned around and threw a pillow at Pacifica, who threw her slipper at Mabel’s head in retaliation. Mabel laughed and told Dipper to ‘hold on’ before she got up and tackled her fiance, laughing evilly as she tickled her. Pacifica shrieking in protest, laughing and hitting Mabel with a couch pillow. They had an apartment off campus since Pacifica had pulled some strings so they wouldn’t have to stay in the traffic of the closer apartments. It was a couple minutes before anything happened but when Mabel brought the computer up to her face level again, she was flushed and had a couple down feathers stuck in her hair and Pacifica was behind her, arms around her fiance’s waist before she gave a quick wave.

“Oh! Mabel, I forgot to tell you, I uh...I made a new friend.” Dipper had to tread especially careful around Mabel or else she’d be giving him tips on how to ask them out and Dipper definitely didn’t want to imagine Mabel giving him tips on how to ask Bill out. He huffed at the thought, hoping his cheeks weren’t red.

“Oh reaaaaaalllly? My Dipping sauce made a new friend? Who is it? Is it a boyyyyyyyyy?” Mabel’s smile curled at the corners and went into full smirk mode. She was already thinking of the couple names!

“They identify as male yes, but he’s really nice! He’s just a friend, I um, I saved his life earlier this week. He got into a car crash near the Dusk2Dawn when I was working the night shift and I drove him to the hospital. He’s doing better now actually. He also has good taste in fashion, really into suits.” Dipper added on, he knew if his sister thought he was getting into a bad crowd she’d fly to Oregon in a heartbeat, and then she’d kick his ass because she taught him better than that.

“Well, that’s good! Anybody with a sense of fashion so they can teach you that sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt are **NOT** clothing to wear around town.” Mabel chuckled as she blew some hair out of her face before laughing when she saw Dipper’s unamused face. They got into it all the time over what Dipper wore, he didn’t wanna start another one of those arguments. 

“Also when you come down for summer break, I need you to cut my hair. It’s been getting way too out of hand lately.” Dipper demonstrated this by shaking his head and letting his bangs fall into his face, only slightly startled when Mabel yelled.

“DIPPER PINES! YOU GET A HAIRCUT RIGHT NOW, IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GROW THAT OUT!!” Mabel looked very alarmed and very concerned. She was honored that her brother was willing to wait a couple more months so she could cut it but his hair was getting **seriously** out of hand. 

“Okay okay geez, I’ll get it done this month or the next, just stop screaming or else you’re gonna blow my speakers.” Dipper half-joking, Mabel had done it before on one of his old phones and he didn’t doubt that she could do it again. They talked for a while, only saying goodbye when Mabel started yawning and rubbing her eyes. Dipper was planning on staying up late to work on his schoolwork and then his novel. He logged into the website that he went to college on and got to work on an essay that was going to be due soon. It wasn’t a problem for Dipper though, since he usually did great on his essays throughout his school years. It was a couple hours later when Dipper was able to open up the document that half held his novel, his paranoia came in handy sometimes, especially when it made him backup everything in a journal he kept in his room. 

It was nearly 3 in the morning when he decided enough was enough, closing the document and getting into his pajamas (a wife beater and his boxers, just like his great-uncle Stan) before heading over to his bed and getting comfy under the blankets. He was just asleep for about an hour before he was interrupted by his phone going off. He grumbled and reached around on his nightstand before he grabbed it and brought it up to his ear.

“Hullo?” His voice was gravelly from sleep, he didn’t see who it was since his eyes were still closed.

“Heya kid! It’s me, yer pal Bill. Dontchya ‘member me?” Bill laughed a little and Dipper woke up a little more.

“Oh, hey. What’s up, man?” Dipper yawned and rubbed his face with his hand, trying to keep himself awake.

“Nothin’ much Pinetree, jus’ wanted to see how you were doing since, you haven’t talked to me yet!” Dipper held the phone away from his ear when Bill got a little loud. Was He serious?

“Dude are you drunk? It’s like, 4 in the morning. Are you out partying or something?” Dipper was exasperated, though he wasn’t surprised. He remembers seeing a couple bottles of wine in the kitchen of the house he was in yesterday.

“Awwwww, but Pinetreeeeeee, I don’ wanna go to t’bed yet, Ronnie bet that I couldn’t walk after I drank two bottles of wine but I did it! I walked ‘n stuff.” Bill gave a yawn, thankfully. He was getting tired, probably ready to pass out. 

“Well if you don’t, you aren’t gonna be able to come over tomorrow and hang out with me. You don’t want _that_ do you?” Dipper returned the yawn, waking up more.

“Noooooo, don’t want that. Fiiine, g’night Pinetree, see you tomorrow...or whenever you said.” Bill got quieter and made less sense as he fell further into sleep before passing out completely. Dipper just rolled his eyes, wishing him sweet dreams before hanging up. He went back to sleep as well, only a couple of minutes before he was softly snoring.  
\---------  
Dipper groaned when he heard Stan yelling at him, he was having a good dream before he was interrupted. He only groaned louder as he slowly got up and shuffled over to his dresser and got a plain t-shirt out before slipping it on and then lumbering over to the bathroom. After washing his hands and throwing some cold water on his face, he went downstairs. Guessing Stan called him down for breakfast, he was only half right though. Stan had coffee waiting for him but also the phone.

“Some guy called sayin’ he had to speak to you, kiddo.” He told him as he read the newspaper, Ford wasn’t present since he got up early to go over to Fiddlefords mansion to spend time together, not having been on a date in a while. 

“Thanks, grunkle Stan.” Dipper spoke up before downing half his coffee in one go before calling the number Stan copied down for him. It rang a couple times before a familiar voice answered.

“Oh. Hey Bill, you called earlier but I wasn’t awake yet. What’s up?” Dipper yawned before making himself a plate of pancakes that Stan had made before he woke Dipper up.

“Just called to apologize for calling you when I was drunk. I usually have better manners than that.” Bill spoke softly, he was more than likely nursing a hangover, especially after last night.

“How are you feeling? Your arm I mean. Does it feel any better?” Dipper made polite conversation as he ate his pancakes, making sure to swallow before answering.

“It’s feeling better, thank you for asking. How are you feeling? Your head doing any better?” Dipper could just see the worry on Bill’s face.

“Yeah, I took some Tylenol when I got home. How’s that hangover feeling?” Dipper grinned and chuckled when Bill groaned, 

“Don’t even talk about it, kid. It hurts just to think about it.” Bill sighed, then did something over the phone that sounded like a window being rolled down. He was probably driving somewhere, hopefully not to exact his revenge on Gideon. Dipper hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the little shit since he was drugged. Though he didn’t really want to. He was more than content with the cut off contact with him. 

“So are you off to harass some innocents today? Gonna steal candy from the store?” Dipper didn’t have any knowledge of what Bill did in the mafia besides running it and killing people. Usually, the movies didn’t elaborate that far off the plot.

“Something like that yeah. Are you free today? I just _might_ need some bodies buried.” Bill teased, stepping on the gas a bit when he could before he had to slow down because of the twists and turns on the country road.

“I gotta work in the gift shop today but other than that, yeah. And no, I’m not helping you.” Dipper was careful what he said around his uncle, or else Stan might give him tips on how to burn his fingerprints off or something ridiculous like that.

“Well too bad, Pinetree, you don’t have a choice.” Bill hung up before pulling into a parking space, stuffing his keys into his pocket before walking up to the door and knocking a couple times. Dipper had rolled his eyes when Bill hung up on him before hanging the phone back up. He was finishing the last of his breakfast and coffee before he heard a knock at the door.

“Not it.” Stan had said before Dipper could, resulting in the young adult groaning before he got up and walked to the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Bill instead of a lost tourist or a prankster. Bill was seemingly amused by Dipper’s choice of clothing because he didn’t hesitate to crack a grin and start laughing. When Stan ask-yelled who it was, Dipper just answered that it was ‘nobody important’. He wasn’t about to introduce the mobster to his great-uncle, lest Stan call Mabel because he was suspicious of Dipper having a boyfriend he didn’t tell them about. Dipper shook his head at the thought before gesturing to the couch on the front porch.

“That’s not very nice, Pinetree. Aren’t your friends important to you?” Bill pretended to be upset, taking a seat on the weird porch couch. He’s certainly never seen something like it. His ego was only slightly amended by Dipper sitting next to him.

“Yeah but you’re obnoxious so…” Dipper shrugged, a small smile on his face. He wasn’t happy with the surprise visit mostly because he didn’t have time to put pants on. Speaking of clothing, what was Bill _wearing_? Black jeans with a white button up and a yellow bow tie with a leather jacket over his shoulders with black leather Doc Martens to match. He wasn’t sure what mafia bosses looked like in casual clothes but if Dipper had to guess it would probably be what Bill was wearing. He didn’t appear to have his gun holster on either. Good.

“So do you always wear boxers around the house? What do the customers think!” Bill huffed, not genuinely caring about the kids choice of clothing. It was his place after all. Bill just thought that they were a good brand. Yeah, totally not how they looked good on the younger man or how they rode up his legs when the other pulled his legs up under him. Totally not. Bill coughed and looked at the goat that was eating an old can, the animal was suddenly very interesting. 

“Well if you’re gonna bother me all day, then you’re gonna help. Now wait here, gotta go get some damn pants.” Dipper grumbled to himself, walking back inside. He genuinely had to get pants on but it was also an excuse to escape, he caught the way Bill’s face turned red after looking at Dipper. He didn’t wanna make Bill uncomfortable because of his choice of clothing. Dipper eventually got some clean pants on, a regular pair of jeans and his usual flannel to go over his t-shirt. He didn’t have time to wrestle with his hair so he just grabbed his trusty blue trucker hat with the Pinetree on the front, tucking his obnoxious mop under it. He raced back downstairs after slipping his work boots on and declaring to Stan that he was opening. They must’ve been thinking the same thing because Stan was already in his Mr. Mystery suit and grabbing his 8-ball cane. 

He went back outside to the porch before glancing at Bill, who was still looking at Gompers, the Mystery Shack’s goat. When Dipper cleared his throat to get his attention, the man’s head snapped towards him, Dipper must’ve startled him. 

“You ready to work the counter with me?” Dipper grinned, tugging his hat down a little tighter before raising a brow when Bill started laughing.

“Sure thing, _Pinetree_. I was just calling you that because of your last name and the way you smelled like a forest but who knew I was being LITERAL!” Bill laughed a bit more, teasing Dipper all the way to the gift shop. Dipper elbowed Bill in the side when he started making puns.

“Okay okay, I get it. My last name is also a type of tree, now knock it off before I kick you off the property for harassing me.” Dipper mumbled as he started setting up the register before he went around with a clipboard and started taking inventory.

“Alright alright, I’m sorry. We cool?” Bill followed him around, not unlike a stray puppy. It irked Dipper because he was used to being alone during work. 

“Yeah we’re cool, now go see if we need to restock the vending machine so I can get this done." He took that as a yes when Bill didn’t reply, instead, he heard quiet counting over in the direction of the secret door with a vending machine on it as a guise. Bill didn’t need to know that though. When Dipper was done with inventory he went back to the counter, finding Bill eating a bag of chips. 

“Yer out of chips,” Bill said in between bites, watching Dipper work as he sat on the stool that Dipper usually used.

“Okay, I’ll tell Stan.” Dipper said before stealing a chip and disappearing behind the “Employees Only” door. Bill didn’t follow, he was too busy with his chips and ‘guarding’ the counter while Dipper was gone. He looked up when the younger man came back, who was scribbling something down on the clipboard from before.  
\--------  
“Oh c'mon Pinetree! I didn’t mean to get you roped into one of the attractions! I said I was sorry!” Bill said as he laughed following Dipper, who was covered in feathers from a certain exhibit, Bill was showing off and Dipper had to stop a kid from following in Bill’s footsteps.

“I told you to watch the counter and because you didn’t a kid broke the snowglobes, you asshole. That comes out of my paycheck, man.” Dipper grumped, keeping his arms at his sides as he closed up the gift shop and fished the keys for the golf cart out of his pocket before getting in before and trying to drive off before Bill caught up. He wasn’t so lucky, instead, Bill sprawled out across Dipper’s lap, singing some 90’s song, trying to say he was sorry but he was still grinning like a bastard.

“I don’t care how many Gwen Stefani songs you sing, you’re still an asshole, asshole.” Dipper kept driving anyway, not particularly caring if Bill fell out if he hit a bump. Dipper was driving out to the magical part of the forest, he had to check up on the gnomes and see if there were any more territory fights and see if Jeff was okay, gnomes didn’t work well without a leader. He didn’t care about if Bill saw them, it was going to happen eventually. 

“Where we going?” Bill sat up, pouting because none of his tricks to cheer the other man up worked. 

“To check up on the gnomes, they had a territory fight last week and I have to check up on their leader. Gnomes don’t work well on their own.” Dipper explained, taking the turn down the path to the gnomes base. Bill yelped and grabbed onto Dipper’s arm when a gnome passing by hissed at him. Dipper cracked a grin, snorting. When the saw the gnomes the first time, he was kinda freaked out too.

“Don’t get violent with them, they have sharp teeth and are very stackable.” The memory of the first supernatural being in the forest flashed through his head, remembering how he and his sister fought the giant gnome monster. He sighed, nostalgia flowing through his chest. 

“What the fuck!” Bill yelled when they passed by more gnomes. He could handle dead bodies, he could handle blowing somebody's brains out, but he definitely could not handle something that looked like it jumped right out of a horror movie. He’d definitely be having nightmares about this. He just held Dipper’s arm tighter before burying his face into his shoulder. 

“Are you okay? They’re mostly harmless dude, it’s okay.” Dipper patted Bill’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there.” He tried to hug him but it was hard to drive. 

“I’ll let you know when you can look up, cause there’s more than just gnomes out here. You’re safe with me though.” Dipper spoke softly to him, though by the way Bill tried to burrow further into his shoulder he guessed his words only made him more distressed.

When Dipper got into the more magical parts of the forest, where the gnomes liked to hang out, he pried Bill off of him before grabbing a shovel out of the carts back compartment, handing it to Bill. 

“Here, so you can defend yourself. Now I’ll be right back so stay here or else you’ll get lost.” He patted Bill’s shoulder before he went over to the large tree that held a bar inside it, getting down on his knees before crawling through the entrance. Things should go smoothly, gnomes didn’t act unless provoked.  
\--------  
Bill didn’t like this one bit, but he wanted to be there for his friend in case things went sour. Even if the gnomes creeped the shit out of him, he wasn’t gonna leave Dipper. And even though Dipper said not to wander, Bill did anyway. He wanted a fast route out just in case. He was looking around at the rocks which had funny looking symbols on them before he heard buzzing near his head. What really got him is when the buzzing spoke to him. Bill gave an undignified shriek and swatted at the source before curling his lip in disgust. A...fairy? Bill felt like he walked out of reality and into a goddamn fairy tale. This couldn’t be real. He just wiped the remains off on a tree, walking around some more before freezing when he heard something shuffling in the bushes. 

He gripped the shovel in his hands before stepping forward and poking the bush before raising a brow. When the shuffling got closer, Bill started to back up, adrenaline pumping through his veins. If he had to run, he was ready for it. He was expecting an angry gnome but what he got was worse. Much much MUCH WORSE! Bill didn’t know what it was but it looked like a goblin and a gremlin had a baby. A very ugly hairy baby.

“Uh, hehe, h-hey there buddy. I don’t want any trouble. I-I’ll just leave.” Bill started backing up again, brandishing the shovel in his hands before he froze. He was such a dumbass, he had backed up into a tree. He was so fucked. He just laughed nervously before slowly turning so he could leave. He should’ve stayed still because when he turned, the sun reflected off his chrome jacket buttons and flashed the beast in the eyes. It got pissed real fast and Bill let out a terrified scream before running for it.  
\--------  
After he got done with the gnomes, he was talking with them and joking around when he heard a scream. There weren’t any other humans in the forest except...Bill! Shit, he was in trouble! Dipper wasted no time in getting out of the tree bar, running back to the golf cart and facepalming when he saw that it was empty. Of course, Bill wandered off, of course he did. Now he could be getting chased by anything from a wendigo to a tree giant! Bill was going to get the scolding of a lifetime after this was over. He ran in the direction he heard Bill’s screams coming from, heart doing double time.

He didn’t expect to run into Bill, literally, which made him fall on his ass. He wasn’t seeing any monster chasing him but Bill was still determined to get away, crawling away from Dipper before he got back up on his feet. Quickly grabbing Dipper by the back of his shirt before hauling him up to his feet. Dipper looked at him, Bill’s eyes were small, he was obviously scared. But by what? The answer showed itself with an ear-splitting call, crashing over bushes and smaller animals. Dipper paled. It just had to be the gremloblin didn’t it? He was moving before he knew it, years of experience and instinct kicking in. He grabbed Bill’s wrist and bolted, running to the golf cart.

“It just HAD to be the gremloblin didn’t it! They aren’t even native to this part of the forest!” Dipper yelled at himself out loud, legs moving on their own as he pulled Bill along with him. Both were breathing heavily but thankfully they made it to the golf cart in time before Dipper quite literally jumped in and pulled Bill in after. He started it and hammered the gas pedal, making the tires squeal before the golf cart was off, zooming through the forest before they could hear the beast get close. Dipper flipped the Nitrous booster Soos had installed so many years ago (though the man now lived in Portland with his wife Melody and their three kids) and wrapped a hand around Bill’s waist, while it did work, it was still going to be a very bumpy ride with the speed they had.

Bill seemed to understand because he grabbed onto Dipper, Dipper spun the cart when they nearly hit a tree. Animals and creatures alike were scattered in their wake. Dipper took a risk and took the old shortcut he and Mabel used as kids but it was dangerous because the turns were sharp. He did it anyway and heard the monster crash into a tree behind them before growling and catching back up to them. Dipper said a mental prayer for the both of them before they went up the steep bumpy hill, Dipper grit his teeth when the cart landed roughly back on the ground. From there it was easy steering since the forest mostly flattened out. Dipper could’ve cried when the shack came into view but cursed under his breath when he could still hear the monster chasing them.

Dipper stepped on the gas before pulling into a crappy park job and yanking the keys out of the ignition before yanking Bill out of the cart as well. They were lucky they made it out before sunset, the forest was especially dangerous at night. Dipper didn’t have time to think about that though, he was too busy running up the porch steps and kicking the door open before running inside and slamming it behind them before Dipper continued to the kitchen where his startled Great-uncles looked at him. Dipper stopped and wheezed, only able to get “Gremloblin” out before he pulled Bill and himself upstairs to the other bathroom so they could catch their breath. Gremloblin’s didn’t do well with stairs (Dipper learned that the hard way). He managed to get into the bathroom and locked the door before leaning up against the door. He looked at Bill, who wasn’t in much better shape but was still stuck to Dipper’s side. 

Dipper didn’t care, he was just trying to focus on getting water. Dipper kept a cup in all the bathrooms for brushing teeth but was now filling it up and gulping a glass down before refilling it and handing it to Bill, who looked grateful for it. Once Bill was done and they had both mostly caught their breath, Bill managed to unstick himself from Dipper’s side and sit down on the edge of the bathtub, running a hand through his hair before smiling and laughing.

“Isn’t nitrous oxide illegal? I mean, I’m not complaining but I just didn’t peg you for a lawbreaker is all.” Bill huffed out a couple more laughs before leaning against the wall.

“Great-uncle used to be a criminal. He has all sorts of connections to people you don’t wanna be caught with. Besides, it served its purpose as an an-only-for-emergency-situations booster. I mean, we’re alive aren’t we?” Dipper chuckled, sitting down on the closed toilet lid before pulling at his shirt a bit, trying to air it out some. 

“Eugh, I gotta take a shower now. ‘M all gross-” Dipper was startled out of his sentence by the sound of a car alarm going off continuously and then suddenly the car crashed. It reminded Dipper of the night he saved Bill. 

“Wonder what that was.” Dipper looked to the door before getting up and unlocking it, motioning Bill to follow, who groaned before getting up and following close behind Dipper. He was all adventured out for the day, probably even the week. He followed anyway. Dipper made it downstairs and into the living room before he looked out the window and sucking in a breath. The gremloblin had attacked Bill’s car before Ford scared it off. Bill’s eyes widened before he ran outside and next to the older man who was assessing the damage.

“Shiiiiiiiit, that was my caaaaaaar.” Bill whined, falling to his knees. He looked so done with everything he forgot about the man next to him.

“What did you two **DO**! You could’ve gotten killed!” Ford scolded both of them since Dipper had followed when Bill ran outside.

“I was just doing what you told me to, Ford! I checked up on the gnomes, they’re fine by the way, but a gremloblin was in that part of the forest and it was pissed off and it chased Bill and me all the way here! Gremloblins don’t even live in that part of the forest, Ford!” Dipper defended his friend, crossing his arms and huffing.

“Odd indeed. I’ll have to investigate it at a later time, for now, both of you are grounded. Inside. Now.”  
\--------  
Dipper resented being grounded, he was a grown man for crying out loud! Bill didn’t really care, though he found it funny that he was grounded as well. They had both taken showers and Dipper lent Bill a pair of pajamas since he was stuck at the shack for the night. Bill was also happily reclining on the bed with Dipper as they watched funny videos on YouTube from Dipper’s laptop. After the last video ended, Dipper yawned and rubbed his face. It was already really late, just past midnight according to Dipper’s alarm clock, and Dipper got comfy under the blankets before apologizing to Bill for his car.

“It’s fine, Pinetree. I’ll just get a new one. Perks of being a mob boss if you know what I mean.” Bill grinned and gently elbowed Dipper, who just snorted before pushing a pillow onto Bill’s face, grumbling at him to go to sleep.

When Bill was sure Dipper was asleep, he wrapped an arm around Dipper’s free one, cuddling close. If he was going to have nightmares about gnomes and forest monsters, he wanted someone to be there when he woke up, since he was so used to being alone when he had them.

They both slept peacefully that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how I just started this without any outline whatsoever and it's come out this good.
> 
> -Is it bad i'm self-projecting my weird fear of gnomes onto Bill?  
> -I listened to "Holding out for a hero" when I was writing the chase scene. It just goes with it!!  
> -Not pictured: Stan trying to guess if Bill was Dipper's boyfriend. Ford shooing away the gremloblin because everything in the forest (mostly everything) is afraid of Ford, as they should be because he's a god of chaos. Bill imagining what Dipper might look like in short shorts and hitting his head real hard before Dipper came back out.


	7. chappy 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets the shack to himself and the worst happens, something so awful a very worried group of murderers and their boss hunts Dipper down, giving him no choice but to let them help.
> 
> Bill takes a little trip down mostly repressed memory lane before he hunts the rookie down, interrogating him before they have a tender moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> Lemme know if there are any errors.<3
> 
> !!For people who have emetophobia/fragile stomachs and gag reflexes, there's a part in this chapter where Dippy is sick to his stomach (literally) and so if you don't wanna read that then you can skip past it. I don't wanna make y'all uncomfy. ~~Skip from "It had been a couple more hours" TO "He groaned, getting up on wobbly legs"~~ I bold texted it so y'all know!!

It was a few days after Dipper had woken up to Bill’s head resting on his chest, the man had slept over since his car was totaled thanks to the gremloblin, since they were both ‘grounded’ by Dipper’s great-uncle Ford. During that few days, Dipper got back to his part-time job at the mini-mart, the parking lot thankfully clean of all debris of car parts and broken glass. His boss grilled him about leaving early even after Dipper explained why. He still did odd jobs around town to make extra cash when he could, since he was a good handyman. What made Dipper nervous was that he still hadn’t seen Gideon anywhere, not since he was drugged and beat up the younger man. Dipper had kept in contact with his newfound mafia friends, texting Pyronica and sometimes 8-ball if the energetic man needed to. 

Bill didn’t text as much as Dipper thought an obnoxious man-child would, only texting ‘cool’ pictures of dead things he found- Dipper’s learned the man had a penchant for all things morbid and gory and funny jokes at unholy hours of the night. Dipper didn’t mind though, most times when Bill texted him he was still awake, be it school work or his novel, sometimes his insomnia or a nightmare. Dipper found a routine working itself into his life, go to his part-time job, get off work and text Pyronica, get home, unless he needed to do work around town for the locals, and do more chores before heading to the privacy of his room to text stupid jokes to his sister and his new friends. He wasn’t sure why Bill assigned Pyronica to him but he didn’t mind, the company was appreciated, but if Dipper had to guess it was probably because of Gideon. Dipper didn’t have much time to dwell on it since he was up unusually early helping his great-uncle’s pack for an epic fishing trip they were planning, Stan just wanted to fish but Ford was looking into strange occurrences around the region, a golden opportunity for both the men.

“You better not set the shack on fire with magic or something while we’re gone, Dipper. If you do you better hope your weird little boyfriend can bring people back from the dead.” Stan emptily threatened, pointing a finger at him. Dipper knew he was just making sure Dipper was going to be okay while they were gone, and he appreciated it. Though the part about his ‘weird boyfriend’ made his cheeks burn.

“He’s not my boyfriend, grunkle Stan, Bill’s just a friend. I think Mabel must be rubbing off on you.” Dipper teased, playfully punching his great-uncle in the arm, smiling. The older man grinned and quickly grabbed Dipper in a headlock, giving him a rough noogie, messing up his already messy hair. Dipper laughed and swatted Stan’s hands away before helping lift a particularly heavy bag into the trunk of Ford’s SUV, a very loved birthday present from his partner Fiddleford from a few years back. Ford smiled at the interaction, finishing putting the rest of the bags in the trunk before closing it and clapping a hand onto Dipper’s shoulder.

“Rest assured, if it gets to that I trust you’ll tell us, Mason. Though know this, even if you aren’t romantically involved with the man, if he hurts you in even the slightest way, we’ll take care of him for you.” Ford said with all seriousness, Stan nodding in agreement. “Yeah kiddo, if he messes with you, we’ll put him in a ditch.” the other older man added on. It made Dipper nervous with the way they were discreetly telling him that if Bill hurt him, they’d murder him. ‘ _Ohhh, if only you knew how dangerous he really is_ ’ Dipper thought to himself before putting on a grin and mumbling a ‘that won’t be necessary’ before hugging both of his great-uncle's tightly, he’d miss them both but he knew they were safe and could handle themselves. 

“Stay sharp, Mason, stay on your toes and keep your wits about you. We’ll be calling in occasionally to check in on you and to update you on our trip. We shouldn’t be more than a month, tops.” Ford assured him, hugging back before making his way over to the driver’s side, climbing in since his brother was less than responsible when driving. Stan gave him a pat on the shoulder before getting in as well, Dipper watching them drive off down the dusty country road before he went back inside. Someone might think the moment his great-uncle’s left, Dipper would throw a party or get into the alcohol, but all he did was sit in the living room's recliner and work on his novel while the TV played in the background.  
\--------  
It was around noon when he got a call on his phone, interrupting his writing streak. He sighed, fishing the device out from the cushions before he answered, not even bothering to look at the caller ID like he usually did, not many people outside his social or work circle called him these days.

“Hello?” Dipper rubbed his face as he answered, sitting in the dark with the curtains closed trying to battle the heat outside, unusual for this time of year. He was greeted with a familiar voice on the other line.

“Hey, guppy fish! Just wondering what you were up to since you haven’t responded to my texts, ya been worrying me sick!” Pyronica teased, Dipper could hear the smirk on her lips from here.

“Shit sorry, Ronny, I was caught up in the writing zone. Didn’t mean to ignore you.” Dipper apologized, usually, he was more observant about his surroundings even when he was in the zone. He was probably just tired, he didn’t get very much sleep the night before due to nightmares plaguing his usually peaceful sleep. Was he getting sick?

“Aw alright kiddo, just askin’ since the bossman was getting ‘worried for your safety’, don’t tell him I said that either, he’d skin me alive.” She snickered, making Dipper smile softly, happy but not surprised Bill was worried about him, everyone seemed to be keeping an eye on Dipper since he was introduced to the gang after he woke up at their base. 

“Tell him I appreciate him worrying about me like a frenzied nanny, but I **am** a grown man capable of taking care of myself. He acts like I’m a damsel in distress or something.” Dipper joked, laughing softly before continuing on with the conversation with his friend, informing Pyronica on how he was doing and how far he was getting with his novel. She seemed happy for him, pleased that she was now able to report to her boss on how the rookie was doing. They talked for a little bit about random things, cracking a couple jokes before he had to hang up, needing to get dinner prepared since it was going to take a while.

While Dipper was preparing his dinner (slow-cooked roast with veggies in it), he hummed softly, an old tune he’d heard on the oldies rock station on the radio. He thought back to some of the jokes his sister sent him while she had free time, some of them painfully dumb (those were the puns) and some of them were mostly an inside joke that only the twins and their family understood. He couldn't wait for summer when his sister flew up to Oregon to spend the summer with Dipper, the Stans and her fiance, Pacifica. Maybe then he’d be able to introduce Bill to his twin, he shuddered at the results that could wield. Bill was just as, if not more so, chaotic as Mabel was and if the two became friends, they'd be a force to be reckoned with.

After Dipper was done eating, he put the extra in some Tupperware and into the fridge so it would stay good, it would last him a day or two if he didn’t just forget about it like he sometimes did. He retired to his bedroom, stripping and getting a change of clean clothes before he took a quick shower and when he was done and in his pajamas with a towel around his shoulders, he settled into his desk chair to work on his novel some more. He had several chapters more than he used to have before he made friends with the mafia, they had been a great source of inspiration for the young man. His book growing and prospering thanks to them.  
\--------  
**It had been a couple more hours** , his stomach twisting weirdly as night came and the stars peeked out from behind heavy grey clouds. He knew something was up when he felt a bead of sweat run down his temple, he really must be getting sick then since the last time he had a fever was last winter. He groaned when his stomach twisted painfully, could it have been something he ate? Maybe he didn’t cook the roast thoroughly enough? He followed the instructions that came on the package though, so it didn’t make sense. Maybe he was one of the rare cases that gets the bad batch and ends up suing the company, he hoped he wouldn’t have to, living with a con man had it’s negative effects too. Courtrooms now made Dipper nervous, plus being friends with professional killers didn’t help that either. Nothing really helped because he was bolting out of his chair and into the little bathroom connected to his room, kneeling over the toilet that was in there and emptying the content of his stomach. 

He felt fucking awful but he couldn’t do anything about it right now, none of his family was here, the only thing he could do right now was just keeping his face within the range of the bowl and make sure he didn’t pass out. It went on until he was dry heaving, making him cough and wheeze a bit. He finally felt stable enough to close the toilet lid, reaching up and flushing the contents away, carefully taking a few shaky breaths before he used the toilet and the edge of the counter to help himself up. **He groaned, getting up on wobbly legs** , reaching for the cup he kept for when he brushed his teeth but it came in handy, filling it up with water before he drank half, grimacing at the taste he was getting out of his mouth. He sighed, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing the Tylenol before popping two of them in his mouth and downing them with the rest of the water. After washing his hands, he trudged back to his desk and put his laptop to sleep and turned the desk lamp off, shuffling over to his bed before he got under the covers and grimacing at how much hotter the comforter made him.

He was too far gone to realize he had a missed call.  
\--------  
It had been exactly 4 days after the first time Dipper got sick, and it happened more than once, as he found out after he cooped himself up in his room, laying in his bed with a light blanket over himself after he grew sick of the heavier ones making him excessively sweaty. He’d been too miserable to even contact his sister or great-uncle’s to check in with them, it weirded him out that not even his friends had called yet, but he guessed it must’ve been a busy week for them and that’s why they haven’t called yet. Dipper couldn’t concentrate too hard on it or else he’d get another stomachache, a frequent visitor of Dipper’s, it was probably from not eating as well as he usually did, the only things he’s had during these miserable times was a plain cheese and meat sandwich and a bowl of cereal. He hasn't eaten anything else since it would just come out a short while later. He groaned after he finished off a little bit of water he had to take with his Benadryl, hoping it would make him feel better, he had his waste bin next to his bed just in case it didn’t.  
\--------  
Four days. Four entire fucking days without a single text or call from the rookie, not even a peep. They had checked around town after the second day, asking the locals if they’d seen Dipper. Nobody had, and if they did then they didn’t say anything. Bill was starting to fidget, extremely worried about the new member of his mafia family (though _he_ didn’t know that just yet), nobody in the group had seen or heard anything from Dipper Pines in the last four days, and it was starting to piss Bill off. Why now? What had happened to the kid? Did he get himself put in the hospital? If he hadn’t yet then Bill would put him there for worrying him so badly, he would have several broken ribs from the hug he would receive. He would smother him with hugs! 

He groaned, rubbing a gloved hand over his face, glad to finally have the arm sling off but his shoulder still hurt occasionally. It wasn’t just Bill who was at their wit's end, even Teeth was visibly worried, and that was saying something! Bill grit his teeth, eye narrowing as he glared daggers at his phone, probably the 22nd missed call, Bill had lost count. He cursed under his breath before he shoved his phone back into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He hadn’t been this nervous since...Kryptos. Bill’s glare softened at the mention of the old member of their family, though he wasn’t around anymore.

‘ _Since that pig Bud Gleeful murdered him. _’ Bill thought, his mind pulsing with venom for the man who was the source of most of his rage. They were so young when it happened too, Bill was only 17 and Kryptos 16, that was when his Mother was still head of their family, and Bud still the head of his. He shook his head, clearing his mind of the intrusive thoughts before he stood up, clapping his hands together before he cleared his throat loudly. He had a plan.__

__“Alright everybody, stop whatever the hell you’re doing and listen up. It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Pinetree, but we’re going to remedy that! What we’re gonna do is march on over to his little shack in the woods and see why the hell he’s suddenly decided to be a hermit and cut off all contact with his friends. We aren’t going in the woods or fuck around with the attractions, we’re only there to hassle the kid, capisce?” With hands on his hips, he looked at the small group that had gathered when Bill had started talking, all of his most reliable goons. People he’s been through hell and back with._ _

__“Yeah alright boss, but what if he’s been avoiding us for a reason? I mean, we ARE a mafia, nobody with any preservation instincts would wanna be friends with us.” 8-ball had piped up, shuffling his cards into order before he put them back into his pocket._ _

__“Then we hold him hostage until he gets it through his thick skull that we’re the good guys.” Bill gave a devious grin to his lackeys, pumping them up before they were sporting matching grins and cheering as they filed out of the house and into the car. There were three cars since they usually traveled in pairs, no real need for separate cars. Bill got in with his right-hand gal, Pyronica, Bill buckled before starting the car and leading the group down the long twisty driveway, hidden by large bushes and some trees. He sped down the main road when he got to it, the other cars not far behind him. Bill grinned, turning up the volume on the radio when “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin came on, one of Bill’s favorite songs. Pyronica just rolled her eyes at her boss, he was such a dork when it came to his music._ _

__It only took them about 15 minutes to get to the property that the Mystery Shack sat on, Bill pulling into the parking spot closest to the front door before getting the keys and rushing out of the car, running to the front door before trying the knob, sighing when it didn’t give. He fished his phone out and rang Dipper’s cell before frowning when he didn’t answer. His truck was still there so he must still be home. Bill put his phone away and roughly started knocking on the door, hearing 8-ball and Pacifier mumbling about ramming the door down if he didn’t answer. Bill considered it but knew it wouldn’t work, he’s seen the various locks that lined the doors of the shack, when he asked about it Dipper said something about his great-uncle Ford being super paranoid a few months after he got the cabin. Bill only knocked harder when nobody answered the door, even yelling that ‘he couldn’t hide in there forever!’. Bill thought about using a ladder to climb up to Dipper’s window before he remembered the kid always kept it locked. Looked like he was just as paranoid as his uncle, even though he lived on the second floor.  
\--------  
Dipper groaned, waking up to the sound of yelling before he heard banging on the door. Crap were the police looking for his great-uncle again? Dipper dragged his hand down his face before he got up, tightly wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, kicking aside stray tissues that littered his floor before he was able to exit his room. Rushing down the stairs when the knocking got louder, at this rate whoever was there was going to bust a hole through the door. He hissed in pain, cursing as quietly as he could when he his foot against the side table by the door. He huffed before unlocking the door and swinging it open. He was greeted with nearly an entire mafia on his doorstep, even Teeth looked like a real mobster. 

__Dipper was confused as to why everyone was here but he was interrupted by his body deciding at that moment to sneeze, nearly making Dipper go into another coughing fit. He grumbled, sniffling before looking up at Bill and raising an eyebrow._ _

__“What’re all you guys doin’ here? Throwin’ me a surprise party?” Dipper joked weakly, his voice was rough and nasally, he couldn’t help it though. Dipper watched as Bill’s eyes widened before the man leaned down, glaring death at him._ _

__“We’re here because you decided to disappear off the face of the damn planet, Dipper, we’ve been worried fucking sick! Why the hell haven’t you been answering us?! We thought you were dead in a ditch you ass.” Bill crossed his arms, though the look in his eyes told Dipper he was immensely worried. He felt bad, ears burning._ _

__“You’ve been trying to call me? How? My phone hasn’t gone off in forever.” Dipper looked at the other’s before leading them inside and into the kitchen, getting a glass of water so he could drown the taste of his gross cough medicine down. He could feel Bill’s glare on his back as he downed the colorful syrup, grimacing before he drank the cup of water._ _

__“Well, we have been, about 23 times total.” Bill huffed, looking miffed as he watched Dipper do...whatever he was doing._ _

__“I’m so sorry you guys, my phone must’ve run out of service or something. I’ve just been really sick lately, couldn’t do much besides sleeping and throwing up y’know?” Dipper looked apologetic before wincing when Py marched over to him and put a hand to his forehead, Dipper was still really sensitive to touch. She frowned and glared at him when she took her hand back._ _

__“You have a fever, dumbass. You should’ve called us and we’d have come over to keep you company. Don’t gotta do everything on your own. Now that your scolding is out of the way, you owe me big time.” Dipper didn’t have time to react before he was being crushed into a bear hug, all the air in his body being squeezed out. He whimpered when his stomach twisted unhappily at the pressure, making Dipper’s vision swim. He vaguely recognized Bill yelling at Py before she let him go, making him go wobbly in the legs and having to take a seat at the table._ _

__“Fucks sake kid, you shouldn’t even be up right now.” Bill rolled his eyes before walking over to him, leaning down and scooping the sick man into his arms, intent on putting him to bed so he could get better. Then Bill would feel less guilty yelling at him. Being picked up didn’t help Dipper’s stomach, making him groan and bury his head into Bill’s shoulder._ _

__“Had to answer the door or else you'd've broken in. M’sorry I worried you guys so much.” Dipper could feel Bill walking up the stairs, probably heading to his bedroom._ _

__“Just hush up, I don’t want ya puking cause you didn’t stop yapping,” Bill spoke sharply, getting the door to Dipper’s room open before he made a face of concern. His room was trashed, tissues and dirty clothes on the floor. Geez, no wonder the kid was sick, germs practically everywhere! Bill quickly laid Dipper in bed before he started cleaning up, picking the tissues up with gloved hands and depositing them into the waste bin next to the bed. Pyronica had followed Bill up to his room and Dipper just smiled tiredly when she entered his room. She shook her head and got to work helping Bill clean up the room. Crossing the space and opening the window for air. She then picked up the covers that were bunched up on the floor before carrying them to the laundry bin, picking out the quilt that didn’t really need to be washed._ _

__She found the washer and dryer before she came back and got his laundry bin, ignoring his calls of protest._ _

__“Ain't nothing I haven’t seen before, guppy. Don’t lose your head.” She winked at him before she exited the room again, obviously getting his laundry done for him. Murderer or not, Ronny was an angel to him. While she was busy doing that, Bill had been getting his bathroom clean enough so he could practice better hygiene habits while he was sick. He had found the Clorox cleaning wipes Dipper kept under the sink, wiping down everything in the small room before he started on the bedroom. When he was done, several wipes later, he put the container back and then walked up to Dipper’s bed, pulling the blanket off his shoulders before he exited the room, handing it to Pyronica. When he came back, he huffed at what he saw. Dipper shivering. He just walked up to him before he started to pull Dipper’s shirt off of him. Dipper swatted his hands away, his cheeks pink._ _

__“What’re you gonna do with me? Bathe me in bleach?” Dipper knew he was overreacting, but he was sick and irrational. Bill snorted, shaking his head before grabbing Dipper’s wrist, pulling it away from him before pulling the shirt off of his victim._ _

__“No, but you are going to be bathed in something, Pinetree.” Bill chuckled darkly before winking at him, well Dipper only knew it was a wink because Bill said ‘wink!’ after he did it. Dipper’s shivering only got worse when his shirt was handed over to Py. When Bill tried to go for his boxers, Dipper yelped and kicked him in the shin, to which Bill replied with a pained grunt._ _

__“No way in hell are you getting my boxer’s, you fiend. I may be sick but I’m not unable to get my clothing off. Why do you want them off anyway?” Dipper squinted suspiciously at him, scooting further onto the bed, using a pillow as his defense, as if it was actually going to protect him._ _

__“What do you _think_ I’m doing?” Bill rose an eyebrow before he smirked at the sick man in front of him. He just laughed as he got hit by the pillow several times over, before he decided it was enough and tossed the pillow to the side, grabbing Dipper’s arms and pushing him to the bed before he scooped him up again._ _

__“Yeah, cause I’m just dying to get you into bed while you wheeze like you’ve been shot in the lung.” Bill teased, wincing when Dipper hit him in the shoulder, even after Bill said ‘joking!’. He set Dipper down carefully, a hand on his lower back just in case he fainted. Sick people were known to do that, it totally wasn’t because he was worried sick still. Not at all._ _

__“Strip, I ran you a bath. It’ll help clear your nose and lungs. I set you out a clean towel as well, so you don’t have to tire yourself looking for one in this maze of a house. Though I certainly wouldn’t mind the view.” Bill yelped as Dipper punched him in the side, rubbing it. Dipper was at an advantage, he knew where Bill was hurt so he could end him if he really wanted. His heart skipped a beat when he found Dipper looking at the wall, his cheeks rosy pink, and not from being sick either._ _

__“Don’t be weird. Now get out, I gotta take a bath.” Dipper was trying to push Bill out before he wrapped a strong arm around Dipper’s waist, looking at him seriously._ _

__“If you need help, like seriously, if you feel like you’re gonna pass out just let me know okay? I promise I won’t make fun of you.” Dipper could just smile softly, nodding at him before Bill kissed his hair-covered forehead, making Dipper blush darker before he finally huffed and hassled Bill out of the small bathroom, stripping off his boxers before he got in the bath. Unbeknownst to Bill, Dipper’s heart skipped a beat as well.  
\--------  
He had just gotten out of the bath, a towel wrapped tightly around his waist before he exited the bathroom, surprised to find his bed fully made with Bill laying on it and reading a book from Dipper’s shelf. He looked peaceful, though his attention quickly shifted to Dipper, who’s wet hair was starting to bother him. Bill quickly got up before grinning. 

__“You look like a wet cat. A clean wet cat nonetheless.” Bill joked, motioning to the clothing he had set out for him. Dipper thanked him before he took the clothing and went back into the bathroom, drying off thoroughly before he got into the warm clothing. He recognized it as his “I believe” t-shirt, it must’ve been fresh from the dryer. Dipper’s chest warmed at the sweet things his friends were doing for him. It made him wanna cry. When Dipper was done and a towel up around his hair, he went back to his bedroom and found his phone on the nightstand, huffing when it didn’t turn on. He was such a dumbass. His phone wasn’t out of service, it was dead. He plugged it in before he sat down next to Bill, yawning before he scooted further onto the bed again, getting under the covers._ _

__“I’ll leave you to sleep, kid. Ya must be really drowsy after that awesome bath you took.” Bill bragged as if he had put no-more-sickness salts in the bath or something. Salts aside, Dipper really appreciated it. Bill got up, making for the door before stopping when Dipper threw a pillow at his head. He huffed when he picked it up, walking back to the bed and handing it back to him._ _

__“Wanna have another sleepover? I uh, gotta have someone there to keep an eye on me, so I don’t choke in my sleep or something. You know how sick people are.” Dipper laughed, using that as an excuse, trying not to embarrass himself. Bill rose a brow before he sighed, kicking his shoes off, taking his jacket off as well before scooting under the covers with Dipper._ _

__“Just don’t punch me in your sleep. I don’t wanna wake up with internal bleeding again, thank you very much.” Bill acted like it was such a big deal for him when really he was happy to keep Dipper company. Dipper snorted before cuddling up to Bill’s side, laying his head on his chest._ _

__“If you get sick, I’ll take full responsibility. Promise.” Dipper joked, though he could feel Bill freeze up at the contact, he hoped Bill wouldn’t mind, but Dipper rushed to explain anyway._ _

__“S-Sorry, it’s just...whenever I’m close to you like this, I don’t have any nightmares, which is a relief compared to my almost constant ones y’know? I-I can move if you want-” Dipper was interrupted by an arm wrapping around his waist again, pulling him closer._ _

__“It’s fine, swell even! Cause I’m a cuddler.” Bill smiled, internally pleased with the contact, he certainly was one for physical contact, always hugging his little family at least once a day, he couldn’t help it if they liked his hugs. It was a win-win! Dipper felt his cheeks heat up before he buried his face into Bill’s chest, hands coming up to lay on his midsection. Dipper mumbled a ‘thanks’ before he felt the medicine kicking in, making his eyes droop before he finally fell asleep._ _

__He didn’t have any nightmares._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF!! Sorry for not updating in a while, I had my birthday weekend and then I had to babysit my niece for most of Monday. But don't worry I'm back! >:3c  
> And emotional? **You bet I am!!!!** I am so very grateful for all of the lovely kudos/comments/bookmarks that I've received since I started this fic and my other one, they're so very motivating when I'm having a sad thought and when it's hard for me to write, so thank you all for supporting me through this (i cried a lil bit while writing this), you won't regret it!


	8. chappy 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets a snazzy haircut and Bill forces himself to contemplate his feelings for a certain dork with a friend and fluff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> Lemme know if there's any errors.<3
> 
> !!Updated the rating since there's eventually gonna be explicit stuff (does gore count?)!!

Mere days after Dipper had somewhat recovered from the flu he had caught, he was up and about even though he really shouldn’t be. He had assured his family that he wasn’t dead in a ditch, that his phone had just died, both his sister and his great-uncle's scolded him and made him agree to check his phone every 2 hours. He had work to do, after all, keeping the Mystery Shack in working condition and swindling naive tourists out of their money, keeping the weird creatures from the forest _in_ the forest. It was a tough job but he managed. But after a short round of chores around the shack, he found Mabel’s advice about his hair getting more tempting. An hour later he gave in, throwing a clean t-shirt on before he got his wallet and locked the cabin up, getting in the golf cart before driving off to town. It didn’t take too long to get there since he may or may not have been going over the speed limit.

When he got to the barbers, he parked and went inside, glad it wasn’t too busy (not that it usually was). He talked to the owner, paying upfront before they took him to one of the chairs and getting things ready. He waited, trying to help where he could but mostly sitting there since the barber had it under control. The owner gave Dipper a book of haircuts he could look through while he was getting his hair washed, he didn’t want anything too high maintenance though, or something that could get messed up easily. Nothing too short either, he didn’t need Mabel making fun of him for looking weird if he got it too short. When Dipper found one that caught his eye, he showed the owner and they nodded. When his hair was done being washed, the barber got right to work, not cutting any corners. 

It took about an hour for all of it to be done, but Dipper was glad it was over, finally being rid of his long hair that always got in his way. He thanked the barber before leaving and getting back in the cart, heading to the food market next. He had to get groceries since he used most of his stock when he was sick. Afterward, he drove back to the shack and unloaded his haul into the kitchen, putting away everything before he went up to his room to work on his novel. He was about an hour in before he got a call, not wanting to ignore it if it was someone in his family, he picked his phone up and answered. He mentally groaned when it was his boss that picked up, today was supposed to be his day off. He hung up after his boss did, huffing loudly, he didn’t care that his boss was “tired” and needed the rest of the day off, Dipper was supposed to be relaxing not working. 

He got in his work boots and blue pinetree trucker hat anyway, grumbling all the way to his truck as he tied his flannel around his waist, wallet, and phone in a pocket as he got into his vehicle. Eyes glancing at the stain that was still there, he really needed to get that cleaned, it was starting to gross him out. He sighed, pulling onto the road that led to the mini-mart, keeping his truck right at the speed limit, trying not to let his mood plummet. He quickly pulled into the parking lot and got out after grabbing his keys, trudging into the store and turning over the “Get lost, we’re closed!” sign to “Yes, we’re open.” sign on the door before getting behind the counter, checking the inventory before pulling his stool up behind the counter and trying to relax as he read a magazine, hand propping head up. He was getting deja vu. He was taking care of a customer (which cheese was better? Cheddar or swiss? Dipper didn’t have a preference) when he heard another car pull into the lot.

He waved goodbye to the nice customer before getting behind the counter again, fixing a candy display when he heard the door chime, signaling him that someone just entered the mini-mart. He was grateful when the person didn’t immediately bother him since he was already busy at the moment, he hated dealing with impatient customers. He just finished the display before he got back on his stool and back to his magazine. Dipper didn’t see anyone in the store, but they could always be in the back aisle. He mentally shrugged before going back to reading about another royal wedding and celebrity divorce battles, mindlessly flipping through the pages but keeping an ear out for anything suspicious. It felt like forever since the customer had come in, and yet Dipper hadn’t seen any sign of them getting done. 

His train of thought crashed and burned when he was startled by the small bell that was on the counter, usually to alert staff of a customer when they were in the back on break, his cheeks were burning with humiliation from being caught spacing off. He mentally slapped some sense into himself before putting on a smile and greeting the customer.

“Welcome to the Dusk2Dawn, what can I help you with?” Dipper said instinctively, putting on a happy attitude so he could later mull over being stupid at work again (this wasn't the first time this had happened).

“Oh nothing much Pinetree, just ring me up is all.” The customer replied, sounding suspiciously like someone he knew. Dipper looked at the customers face before paling but also feeling relieved. It wasn't just anybody he spaced off in front of, it was just Bill.

“Oh...hey man, you know there's a market in town right?” Dipper raised a brow at Bills attire, a full three-piece suit, the ritz, even gold-tipped shoes. 

“I'm well aware, Pinetree, I just chose to go here instead. Now will you please ring me up or will I have to speak to your manager?” Bill teased, smirking as he leaned against the counter.

“Did you really drive all the way out here just to see me, Bill? It's okay if you did, it's been a couple days since we last hung out. And oh please, _anything_ but that, I beg of you.” Dipper snorted, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous thought, if Bill really wanted to get Dipper scolded by his manager, he could've done it already. 

“So what if I did, Pinetree, I'm capable of going wherever I want, you forget who you're talking to.” Bill huffed, cheeks turning red as he looked over at the lottery tickets, definitely not avoiding Dippers gaze, why would he do that?

“Then I’d say you wasted a car trip, not much goes on here unless there are tourists, but that won't be for another month or so. Pretty boring but I manage to get by.” Dipper went back to flipping through the glossy pages of the magazine he was reading, chest feeling tingly for some reason. 

“Did not.” Bill huffed, crossing his arms stubbornly, not unlike a child. A very tall man-child that was capable of killing a man. Dipper looked back up at him, smiling.

“Did too. A totally wasted car trip.” Dipper looked back down, reading his magazine. 

“Did not! You're my friend and it's totally worth a car trip to bother you.” Bill retorted sharply, leaning down to try and face Dipper.

“Bill, I could do this all day. You forget I have a twin sister, we did this all the time when we were kids. Still do come to think of it.” Dipper glanced up, rolling the magazine up before bopping Bill on the head up before putting it back and leaning back on his stool.

“Yeah well, this is what I think of that! Take that!” Bill did a ridiculous karate pose before flipping Dipper’s hat off, causing it to crash into the floor like a plane. _‘Rest well, old friend’_ Dipper thought to himself before he swatted Bill’s hand away, standing up from his stool to play fight with the man-child he called his friend. Dipper laughed some before freezing up, chewing on his lip. Why was Bill staring so much? Was there something wrong? It was starting to stress Dipper out, though his functional brain told his anxiety brain that he was being ridiculous.

“H...hey man, something on my face? What's wrong?” Dipper dug his fingernails into his palm, laughing nervously.

“No, not at all, Dipper. It's just...you cut your hair. It uh...it looks good. I'm sure Py will appreciate the new look, definitely an improvement from what it was.” Bill flushed, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away again. Dipper sighed, relieved before he started laughing, Bill must think him a maniac, just bursting out laughing for no reason. 

“Something funny, Pinetree? Did I amuse you with my confession?” Bill grinned, reaching over and playfully punching Dipper in the shoulder, raising a brow. 

“N-No! It's just, just that I thought you might've thought it was weird is all, I got worried for nothing, honestly, even if it was crappy you'd still spare me.” Dipper snorted, covering his mouth and using the counter as support as he wheezed and cackled. Bill found it slightly adorable (okay a lot, but he was lying to himself) and started to chuckle along with him before calming down and waiting patiently for Dipper to finish.

“Sorry, I just, my anxiety being dumb again. It's just funny since you're the first to not make fun of me for it, at least the first I'm not related to.” Dipper beamed up at him before grabbing the several bags and boxes of candy and scanning them, ringing Bill up. “That'll be $15.50 please, sir. I'm also obligated to tell you about our Slushy rewards card, buy 8 and get your next 2 free.” Dipper bagged the candy haul and handed it over before snapping his fingers in front of Bill's face, who was probably spacing out now. Dipper leaned far over the counter, reaching out to harshly poke Bill's side, seeing if that would garner a reaction out of him. Boy did it, Bill flinched before grabbing Dipper’s wrist and trying to use him as an anchor, since Bill was starting to slip backwards, Dipper tried to hold them both up but it was futile and he was pulled the rest of the way over the counter and slammed half onto the tile and half onto Bill.  
He groaned, rubbing his now sore elbow before slowly getting up and poking Bill in the sternum. When Bill furrowed his brows and pathetically swatted away Dipper’s hand, he knew the man was fine.

“Oh mister Pines, do you do this with all of your customers or am I just your special favorite?” Bill teased, talking about the way Dipper was half sprawled over his torso and legs. Dipper rolled his eyes as his cheeks turned pink, carefully getting up. What Bill didn't know was that Dipper’s great-uncle Stan also taught him how to pick pockets, which was exactly what he did to Bill’s wallet before getting up and back behind the counter. 

“Are you gonna pay for your stuff or not, Bill? If not, protocol says I'm supposed to kick you out, no loitering remember?” Dipper put his hands on his hips, looking at Bill who was dusting himself off and leaning against the counter once again.

“Yeah sure, hold on.” Bill patted his jacket pockets as he looked for the missing belonging, starting to get a little panicked, did he really forget his wallet? He had this whole thing planned out, how did he forget his wallet?

“Looking for something, Mister Cipher?” Dipper waved the wallet in front of Bill's face teasingly, smirking. He took pride in the less legal talents he gained over the years, no wonder he and Bill got along so well.

“WHAT?! HOW THOUGH?!” Bill's eyes got wide as he swiped the wallet out of Dipper’s hand, pulling out a 50 and slapping it down on the counter.

“Great-uncle’s a conman, remember? He found I was a very quick learner, so it's pretty fun to use my skills on the unsuspecting mob boss, you know how it is.” Dipper tried to look innocent as possible, hard to do while he was also trying not to laugh. 

“You sneaky bastard, you're not even a criminal, how did you pull the wool over my eyes?” Bill smiled fondly, stuffing the wallet back inside his pocket before grabbing his bag and putting a hand on his hip.

“I never said I _wasn't_ a criminal, though I AM related to one. My great-uncle isn't just a conman, let it be a lesson to you to not underestimate me just cause I'm a local “country bumpkin”, I probably know woods-dweller martial arts, it's entirely possible what with his magical the surrounding forest is.” Dipper joked, putting the money in the register before giving Bill back his change.

“Also before I forget, if you keep talking to me on the clock, I'm gonna lose my job, now shoo.” Dipper pushed Bill's hand off the counter, though it was harder now that Bill was purposely trying to keep it there. Dipper huffed when the hand wouldn't move, looking back up at Bill before crossing his arms. 

“Please move your hand?” Dipper tried, though he looked mildly annoyed, he was still having fun. 

“Only if you promise to go with me, Py, and the boys to a club this weekend. You may live here but you haven't _seen_ the town for what it really is yet.” Bill looked at him expectantly, though if Dipper said no he wouldn't push it. He was having a good time as is right now, just bickering with the rookie.

“You wanna take me to a nightclub? Can't say I've been but sure, sounds like fun. I'll wear my douchiest clothes and order all the expensive shitty beers even though I'm not old enough to drink yet. Maybe I'll even find someone to make out in the bathroom with.” Dipper joked, mentally sighing in relief when Bill moved his hand, he really would have to kick him out if he decided to stay. Store rules, not his, he'd love the company.

“Yes! Score! The ladies all be all over you, Dipper! You'll be like some sort of lady magnet if that was even possible.” Bill grinned, laughing some.

“Uh...not ladies Bill. The guys, maybe but not the ladies. Pretty much everyone in town knows I'm into guys. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.” Dipper laughed awkwardly, sucking in a breath through his teeth as he grabbed his hat and got it back on his head.

“Oh...well then you'll be a dude magnet then! You'll have your own harem of cuties.” Bill pulled the brim of Dipper’s hat far below his eyes, using the opportunity to leave. Shouting a brief “see ya later!” before running out of the double doors and back to his car. Phew, safe again. Bill was such a wreck when he tried to talk to people he was starting to get comfortable around. He should be getting home soon, the gang would be wondering what took him so long since he didn't share his plan to seek out Dipper’s company at the mini-mart.

Dipper’s chest swelled with warmth, a smile sprouting on his lips, usually, when he came out to his friends and family they were accepting, but there was always that one group that harassed him for his preferences.  
\--------  
Bill may or may not have broken the speed limit getting home, but he didn't care, he was excited! He couldn't believe it! He was getting butterflies in his chest all over again. When he got home, he ran inside and slammed the door while laughing to himself. He got looks from his lackeys, though he didn't really care. He took his jacket off before shuffling over to Pyronica who was watching an action movie on the couch, crawling next to her onto the couch and laying his head on her shoulder. 

“You win the lottery or something, bub? You're acting like you did cocaine.” She smiled, wrapping an arm around Bill's shoulders and messing up his hair before going back to watching the movie. 

“Maybe the lottery of a lifetime, Ronny! Dipper’s coming with us when we go clubbing! He's even gonna try to have fun!” Bill flung his arms in the air, grinning as Pyronica ran her fingers through his hair.

“That's good, we'll show him how to have a good time. And maybe _youuuu_ can learn how to not be so uptight around him, don't pretend like you haven't been. I know a nervous Bill when I see one.” She smirked down at him, poking his cheek teasingly. It worked, since Bill's cheeks turned pink and he groaned loudly while burying his face in Pyronica’s shoulder. 

“But Pyyyyy, he's just someone new is all. Plus he like, saved my life! I can't just be not nervous.” Bill pouted, blowing air at Ronny’s fiery hair. He wanted to be more open around Dipper but it was just...hard. He didn't want Dipper to get hurt because they were friends, he would die of shame if he did.

“You can't be nervous forever, Billy boy, I'm sure if you just _asked_ to be friendly with him he wouldn't harshly reject ya. He's a daisy with thorns sure, but he's still a daisy. He's not gonna bite. And if he does I'll bite him back for ya.” She pressed a kiss to the top of Bill's head, shushing him soothingly, she really was everyone's big sister.

“I'm just nervous, he's totally out of my league...You promise to bite him if he hurts my feelings?” Bill looked up at her, giving her puppy eyes.

“Cross my crooked heart and hope to die, Billy. As a big sis, I gotta protect my baby brother's feelings when his _crush_ breaks his heart.” She smirked, her words having a sing-song tone to it.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Bill's cheeks flushed darkly and he pushed his hands into Pyronica’s face, squishing her face before he got up, running up the stairs to his room and locking the door afterward. Getting on top of his bed before burying his face in a pillow, grumbling loudly. What was he going to do? He couldn't just confront Dipper about it, he'd get skewered! Dipper may be nice but he could be brutal, Bill hadn't forgotten about the time Dipper took him down in their fight a couple weeks earlier, when Dipper woke up at their base. Bill was so screwed, how was he going to face Dipper when they went clubbing?! He sighed, pouting, his mood was quickly crashing and leaving him in the wake. He decided to talk to the man himself since he always managed to cheer Dipper up. 

**[Golden Dorito]:** Dippity dots, you there?

 **[Dipping Sauce]:** Yeah, I'm here. What's up? 

**[Golden Dorito]:** Nothing, just checking in one you! You know I'm always waaaatchiiiing! ;)

 **[Dipping Sauce]:** Oh noooo, whatever shall I do? If you're always watching then that means you watch me shave my legs! You're into some weird stuff, Bill. 

**[Golden Dorito]:** It's just your body, Pinetree. And you know I am, especially if I'm friends with you!

 **[Golden Dorito]:** I didn't mean that in a mean way I just meant we're both freaks…

 **[Dipping Sauce]:** Too late, damage is done, Bill. Now I'm gonna cry and eat ice cream for the rest of the night. How dare you.

 **[Golden Dorito]:** Awwwwwwww, Pinetree I'm sorrrryyyyyy. Can you ever forgive me?

 **[Dipping Sauce]:** Dunno Bill, there's a marathon of Ghost Harassers on tonight and I might need some company. You know, for when the poltergeist episode comes on.

 **[Golden Dorito]:** Awwww need someone to snuggle up to? Well, I'll be glad to cuddle while you freak out over ghosts, as long as we're not going into the forest! ^_* 

**[Dipping Sauce]:** I mean, if you wanna snuggle you can but I'll be too busy cheering for the best TV show EVER!

 **[Golden Dorito]:** So uh, like...like a date?

 **[Dipping Sauce]:** I guess...but you know if it's a date then you best act like it. Only the _finest_ of flowers for me. 

**[Golden Dorito]:** Wait really?! Of course! Just you wait, Pinetree. I'm gonna woo the crap outta you!

Bill couldn't believe it! He actually had a date! With his sort of crush friend, Dipper! He was startled out of his fanboying with the harsh realization that he had much to prepare for and not a lot of time to do it. He scrambled out of bed and over to his dresser, picking out an outfit worthy of a movie date with his soon (probably already) best friend/crush. He quickly got into the shower, cleaning himself up as best as he can in the little time he has and when he got done he toweled off his hair and got dressed, not needing to shave since he already did that in the morning. He grabbed his wallet and keys before rushing downstairs and giving a brief explanation before rushing out the door and into his car, putting the pedal to the metal and hauling ass out of the driveway. 

When he got to the store he bought popcorn, tons of candy and chocolate, and some sodas for the two of them, before looking at the flower section. It was hard to tell what Dipper would like the best, but Bill guessed Dipper was one of those “It’s the thought that counts” people, he ended up getting a bouquet of assorted flowers before checking out and trying not to speed as he drove over to Dipper’s place. He was nervous as all hell but he couldn't back out now, Dipper would be texting and calling about where he was if he backed out, and Bill knows that he would be disappointing his friend as well. 

‘Why are you freaking out? You've killed dozens before and one kid is making you weak in the knees? You're losing your edge, Cipher.’ He thought to himself as he pulled into the other’s driveway and parked, turning his car off before grabbing his offerings before getting out and stuffing his things in the pocket of his jacket before marching up to the door and knocking loudly before he could get cold feet. When the door opened and he was met face to face with a very relaxed looking Dipper, he smiled nervously and shoved the flowers in his hand before bringing the other up and lightly kissing the back of it. He flinched when Dipper took his hand back, feeling his stomach turn into knots. 

“Too much?” Bill stood back up, fixing his jacket before offering him the bag of treats before shoving his hands in his pockets.

“It's fine, the flowers are lovely. Thank you.” Dipper let him in, closing the door behind him as he walked in and followed Dipper further into the cabin and then into the living room where the marathon was taking place.

“You can sit anywhere you'd like, just as long as you aren't blocking the TV.” Dipper set the bag of goodies down before shuffling back into the kitchen to make some popcorn and put the flowers in a vase. Dipper was wearing sweatpants and his Ghost Harassers t-shirt, while Bill was wearing his leather jacket and a comfy shirt, with his triangle pattern joggers and running shoes. Perfect for a movie date. Bill decided on the couch before taking his shoes off, if he was going to put his feet up he didn't wanna get the couch dirty. When Dipper came back, the show was just starting again and he quickly sat down next to Bill and shoved the big bowl of popcorn between them. With eyes glued to the TV, Dipper didn't notice the way Bill just shoved a bunch of popcorn in his mouth to keep from making stupid comments.  
\--------  
It was a few hours in and Bill was getting slightly tired, though he was mostly just full of junk food and caffeine, sprawled out on the couch with his legs on Dipper’s lap. He yawned before taking his jacket off and sitting up, wrapping his arms around Dipper’s waist before pulling him closer and leaning his head on the man's shoulder. Okay, maybe he was a little more tired than he thought but when Dipper jumped and nearly screamed when a perfectly timed lightning strike happened at the same time of a jumpscare on the TV, Bill pulled him closer and laid back, Pulling Dipper to rest on his front while he gently rubbed his back.

“Hey Pinetree, it's okay, I'll punch the thunder clouds if they hurt you.” Bill yawned again, hands loose on Dipper’s waist but he didn't feel him trying to pull away at all. He felt his cheeks heat up as Dipper buried his face into the crook of his neck, shaking lightly, causing Bill to get a bit nervous again but mostly excited because he was cuddling with his (undecided) crush. Bill put that past him though, shushing Dipper as the storm continued and kept making Dipper flinch. Bill grabbed the remote and turned the TV down before pulling his jacket over Dipper’s shoulders and pushing his face into the man's hair, shushing him quietly and running his back until they both fell asleep. 

Bill had a knot in his back from sleeping on the couch but he couldn't be happier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think Bill and Dipper's relationship is progressing too fast for slowburn? I'm kinda crappy at pacing so dont be afraid to give me some constructive criticism. Also this ^_* is Bill's way of emoting that he only has one eye left.
> 
> If anyone was wondering here's the picture I used as reference for Dipper's haircut. The image was found on Googe.-->
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/TeWvkqX)  
> 


	9. chappy 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets a glimpse of Gravity Falls' dark side and has one too many drinks, while a certain mob boss loses his shit and takes a rather drastic measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Enjoy and lemme know if there's any errors!<3 
> 
> !!There's unconsensual drug use in this chapter, bad stuff doesn't happen but it almost does? If that makes sense. But Dippy has his Dorito in shining golden armor to save him, so there's no actual bad stuff except Dippy gets drugged. Just a warning!!

The weekend had come faster than Dipper had expected it to, causing him to panic over what he was going to wear to the not-date he had with his new friends, he usually wouldn’t care and just wear a sweatshirt and old pair of jeans but this time was important, since he was going to see “the underbelly of Gravity Falls” according to Bill. He was sitting in his room deciding on outfits when his phone rang, startling him out of his deep thinking. He quickly grabbed it off his nightstand, answering it as he still mulled over what he would wear.

“Hello?” He pushed a shirt off the bed, nope, couldn’t wear that. 

“Heya Pinetree! I’m coming by later to pick you up remember?” Bill spoke up cheerily, looking at his nails as he talked while getting dressed, packing his holster and guns under his jacket.

“Oh hey man, yeah I remember. Don’t think I can go through with it.” Dipper groaned, running a hand through his hair.

“Aww, why not? You’re not sick again are you?” Bill frowned as he pulled his shoes on and sat on the edge of his bed.

“I can’t find anything to wear, I’m officially nightclub clothes-less, I’ll never be seen in public again. Ever. I’ll have to buy delivery food for the rest of my life.” He was mostly joking but that’s how he _felt_. 

“Do you need to go clothes shopping, Dipper? Cause if you do then I’ll take youuuu.” Bill smirked, he would take the rookie under his wing and teach him how to dress. Dipper would be thanking him. Eventually.

“Absolutely not, if you want to take me shopping you’ll have to drag me out of here.” Dipper huffed, he was a simple man, he didn’t _go_ shopping. Unless Mabel was taking him. That’s a different story though. 

“Don’t tempt me, Dipper. I’m fully capable of it!” Bill sighed, smoothing out the wrinkles on his shirt before heading to the bathroom to style his hair. “Just think of what I would wear to a club and wear it but with your own flair. It’s easy, Dipper. Now I gotta go, beauty this amazing takes time and concentration. Call me when you’ve decided, kid.” Bill hung up on him, getting hair products out and starting the beauty process. Dipper sighed and scowled half-heartedly at his phone before setting it back on the nightstand and looking over his choices. What would Bill wear? He definitely wasn’t going to wear his nerdy alien shirts, but who knew? Those might be in style. What would Mabel make him wear to his first nightclub? That was a tough question, she was as sporadic as her fashion sense. He focused before immersing himself in his wardrobe. 

It took him longer than he’d like to admit but he finally decided on one outfit. A tank top with a jacket over it, with jeans and his good shoes, shoes his sister bought him that he only wore for special occasions. He thought he looked okay, and with his new haircut he didn’t need to hide a mop of hair under his beloved trucker hat. He was free to relax in the living room, watching TV and waiting for it to be time to go to the club with his friends. He was relaxing at all, just spacing out as he nervously waited for the time to come. He was bouncing his leg as he sat in the recliner, spacing out as he watched a commercial for an owl trowel. Whatever that was. He tripped and fell out of the recliner when he heard knocking at the door, yelping as he hit his knee against the side table. He made it to the door, swinging it open as his heart did double time. He didn’t know why he was so worked up, he went out on the town with Mabel and Pacifica all the time, why was he nervous this time?

“Yes? Mystery Shack: Home of Mr. Mystery and creatures only found in Oregon, Dipper here.” He said on instinct before smacking his forehead with a hand. Why was he so awkward? 

“Oh yeah, like I’m gonna get scammed by you, Pinetree. I’ve seen how this place works. Now c’mon, time to get in the car.” Bill answered, leaning against the door and grinning at him. Oh, Dipper was even more embarrassed. He was reminded of his first summer in Gravity Falls, he was even more awkward then. 

“Yeah, I’m ready, I have everything I could need. Which is to say, not a lot! Just my phone...mostly.” Dipper laughed nervously, grabbing the keys out of his jacket pocket before shooing Bill away from the door, stepping outside before locking it all up. He doubted anybody would want to break in but Stan would yell at him if he found out Dipper left the house unlocked, especially at night. Last time Dipper did that, they were cleaning fairies out of the cabin for a week. 

“Well don’t you look snazzy, Pinetree! Cute almost!” Bill slung an arm around his shoulders before dragging him out to his car, opening the door for him while wiggling his eyebrows. Bill was such a weirdo when he wanted to be. Though, the eyebrows are what got Dipper. He snorted, laughing as he got in and buckled up, trying not to laugh himself into a coughing fit. Though when he calmed down, he got nervous again. This was really happening, wasn’t it? Dipper shook his head, tightening the seat belt almost too tightly before he watched Bill get in after.

“You ready for the night of your life, Dipper?” Bill grinned, looking over at him as he started the car up. 

“I won’t have to do crazy drugs, will I? Like some sort of initiation? Is that what this is?” Dipper rambled, biting his cheek as he focused on his hands, mentally telling himself to chill the fuck out. Bill burst out laughing, snorting and shaking his head as he tried to calm the outburst. It took a couple minutes but he managed.

“You don’t have to unless you wanna, and no, I just invited you cause you need to learn how to live a little, kid. Just have a good time okay? Don’t sweat it, if it’s too much for you, you can just walk around and see what the town _really_ has to offer.” Bill drove the car out to the highway, turning the radio up when an oldies rock song came up. 

“Do you like this kind of music? My twin sister really likes 80’s synth music, so I kind of do too. I usually listen to it when I miss her.” Dipper smiled, he was rather partial to music his sister made him listen to, even if it was awful. He didn’t really listen to one band or genre, he usually listened to classical music, since it helped him relax.

“Oh man, do I! I listen to all the oldies, Dipper. Foreigner, Journey, Aerosmith, Guns N’ Roses, Led Zeppelin, ABBA, lots of ‘em!” Bill smiled over at Dipper enthusiastically.

“Wait you listen to ABBA? I love ABBA! I listened to them all the time as a kid.” Dipper grinned, playfully punching Bill in the shoulder. That was a relief, they had at least a couple things in common.

“Do you have any siblings, Bill?” Dipper asked carefully, he didn’t wanna bring something up that the mafia boss hated talking about.

“Sure do Pinetree! He’s a feisty little shit but he’s family. He’s going to college for business so he can run that part of the family when I take it over. He’s actually my twin, looks exactly like me, except his color scheme is blue. And he’s really shy, doesn’t have a lot of friends, that’s why I always try to drag him to parties so he can meet people.” Bill talked proudly about his twin, something they both had in common. Dipper smiled, humming softly to the song.

“I’ll have to meet him sometime, I’m sure he and Mabel would be good friends.” Dipper moved his head back, watching the trees zip past. They must be going to the base first instead of straight to the club.

“Almost there, just a little further. And since you’re the rookie mobster, you have to ride with me so you don’t cause trouble with the others. Got it?” Bill looked over at him, his cheeks a faint pink, he wasn’t joking when he said Dipper looked cute. Bill mentally sighed, tonight he wasn’t going to mope about Dipper being out of his league, tonight he was going to have fun. Even if it killed him.  
\--------  
A half-hour later and they were heading to the club, Dipper hadn’t seen any club in the whole time he was living in The Falls, but he was ready to be proven wrong. Pyronica had loved Dipper’s haircut and outfit, teasing and joking with him. He ended up with Bill again, listening to the oldies station and arguing about whether robots would be able to break dance in the future. They both agreed there would be a robot specifically made to dance, because why not? They made it past the town limit, driving for a short while past it before making a few turns and coming up to what Bill called “the fun light district” of Gravity Falls. Dipper snorted at the play on words. He did see a casino and even a strip club, something he never thought he’d see in such a sleepy town. Dipper was thoroughly impressed but not at all surprised a mafia knew where such a place would be.

Dipper was still nervous but at least he had Pyronica with him, not to mention a bunch of other certified murderers. Somehow he felt safer with them than anybody else. He took a deep breath to ground himself when they got to the club, luckily not forest themed. Just a regular nightclub. He vaguely wondered if Mabel had been to one, he’s never been to LA before since his hometown was far from the city, at least a 4-5 hour drive if traffic was good, but he was sure she had what with all the nightlife the city had. He snorted when Bill came around to get his door again, closing it when he got out.

“You ready, Pinetree? Prepare to have your mind blown.” Bill snickered and wrapped an arm around his shoulders when he saw Dipper hesitating, pulling him along. He was nervous, to say the least, and he could guess it was showing since Bill was trying to cheer him up.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Bill. That is to say, not at all. At least I have you to make snarky replies to make me laugh” He smiled, teasing Bill and forcing his anxiety down, making sure to at least try to have a fun time. When they got to the entrance, Bill spoke to the bouncer and got the velvet rope pulled aside for all of them. Dipper was surprised.

“How did you do that? Did you bribe him or something?” Dipper had to practically yell over the loud music.

“Don’t need to bribe your way into something you already own, Dipper. Just bought this place two months ago and next month I’m renovating it to be more...my style.” Bill held tightly onto Dipper’s wrist as he made his way over to the bar, ordering two of something before handing one to Dipper. 

“Relax a little kid! Have some fun. Now drink this.” Bill clinked his shot glass to Dipper’s before waiting.

“What is it?” He eyed the glass suspiciously, unsure about it.

“Whiskey, it’ll help you relax Pinetree. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.” Bill shifted his weight to a different foot.

“No, it’s okay. First time for everything right?” Dipper clinked his glass against Bill’s before bracing himself and downing the liquid. He immediately regretted it, it burned his throat and he coughed harshly, setting the glass down on the bar counter.

“Newbies, so hilarious.” Bill downed his drink before he ordered something else before, pulling Dipper over to the sidelines and rubbing his back as he tried to get the burn to go away.

“Is alcohol always like this?” Dipper managed, wiping his mouth before leaning on the wall, watching Bill as he sipped on a golden margarita, grimacing when Bill handed one to Dipper. At least it had ice to soothe his throat. He quietly thanked him before taking a sip of the colorful drink. It was much better than the whiskey, its burn more subtle. He scanned the crowd, looking for Py, wondering where she was. She couldn’t have gone far, this place only had one floor that Dipper knew of. He was startled out of crowd searching when Bill clapped him on the back. 

“C’mon Pinetree, let's go dance!” Bill tried to drag him out to the dance floor but Dipper refused to move.

“No no no, I am an absolutely _awful_ dancer Bill, trust me on this.” Dipper shook his head, eyes pleading with Bill as the alcohol worked its way into his system, it was warm and made his head feel fuzzy like he just woke up. Bill smirked and pulled Dipper onto the dancefloor anyway, moving in between dancers before finding a spot and starting to dance, skillfully holding his drink steady at the same time. He was a fluid dancer, used to the environment probably. Dipper just rolled his eyes and took a large gulp of his drink before attempting to dance. He was used to being forced to dance, his sister made him do it all the time. At least Bill wasn’t giving him that sad look that made Dipper feel like his soul was dying, Bill was grinning as he took Dipper’s hand and danced with him. At least he was kind of having fun, he had to admit it wasn’t that bad, but maybe that was the alcohol talking. Bill seemed to be enjoying himself enough, Dipper smiled and danced a little with him, laughing softly, he didn’t really care that people were bumping into him, it was still fun to hang out with his friends.  
\--------  
It was at least an hour later when Bill pulled him back to the sideline and told him to stay there, he had to go check on something with the others. Dipper just nodded and sipped at his drink as he took a seat at the bar, watching Bill disappear into the crowd and finishing off his drink before he propped his head up and watched the crowd. He had to admit, he was having a lot of fun, he was nervous for nothing but maybe those drinks did help him to relax, he wasn’t sure as it was still hard to think clearly since he had a good amount of alcohol in his system, also since he was a newbie at drinking. He sat there for what felt like forever before the bartender came over and put a drink in front of him.

“Uh, I didn’ order this? Whas going on?” Dipper tried to speak clearly but it was hard to even hear himself over the music.

“Guy over there bought you a drink, he must be feeling nice then or something.” The bartender shrugged and pointed over to a man who was making his way over to Dipper, who eyed the drink and watched the man. When he finally made it over and took a seat next to Dipper, he smiled at him, putting money down for another drink before striking up a conversation.

“Your first time here? Haven’t seen you before.” He took the drink the bartender handed to him, sipping at it.

“Yeah, m’first time in a nightclub ever, I thought it’d be really overrated but it’s been really fun!” Dipper grinned, sipping his colorful drink, not suspicious since the man was acting really nice.

“Oh yeah? Well, I hope the place has been treating you well. I’m Brent, what’s your name?” The man leaned closer, leaning on his arm.

“I’m Dipper, I came here with my friend Bill...but I dunno where he went. He just disappears sometimes, he’s weird like that.” Dipper snorted, sipping his drink and scanning the crowd again, mentally sighing. Where did Bill go?

“Aw that’s not nice of him, is it. Well don’t worry, you can come dance with me. C’mon.” Brent grabbed Dippers hand and dragged him out to the dance floor, moving in a way that reminded Dipper of nightclub goers in the movies. Dipper shook his head to clear his thoughts before dancing along with him, this Brent dancing a lot closer to him than Bill did, he wasn’t as used to having someone grind on him but he dismissed it as he downed the rest of his drink and continued to dance with the man. At least he was having fun, but he kept getting bombarded with a very familiar feeling, one he tried to push out of his head as he danced with Brent. Something in the back of his head kept nagging at him that something was wrong though, what could it be? Dipper grumbled to himself before he tried to move off the dancefloor, not only his head was nagging him, also his anxiety was skyrocketing by how close everyone was, it was really bothering him. Dipper realized that when he nearly tripped by taking a few steps that something was wrong, causing panic to explode in his chest. He was startled by Brent taking his hand again, leading him to the sidelines and pulling him away from the crowd.

“Hey baby, are you okay? You’re acting kinda funny. You need some fresh air?” Brent smirked as he brushed the hair away from Dipper’s face and caressing his cheek at the same time, causing him to flinch away from the hand. Dipper swallowed, his tongue very dry as he tried to formulate words. Probably to call Brent a douche with no life, He wasn’t wrong. Dipper shook his head to answer before he shuffled backward, trying to turn around and find the exit. He was stopped by Brent who pulled him back and moved him to the wall before his hands were on the side of Dipper’s face and before he knew it they were kissing. Well, more like Brent trying to shove his tongue down Dipper’s throat. He was an awful kisser and Dipper didn’t need to be an experienced kisser to tell that. In fact, he’s never kissed someone before. Dipper tried to push him away but he was weakened by the alcohol and drugs in his system, hands grasping at Brent's shirt. That must’ve been a signal to Brent to shove a hand up Dipper’s shirt, holding the small of his back and even copping a grope of his butt. Dipper would do something but he was at a disadvantage at the moment.  
\--------  
Bill was glad that was over, now he could get back to hanging out with Dipper, carefully avoiding dancers and couples before he finally got back to where he left Dipper. Who wasn’t there? Goddammit, where could he have gone? Bill facepalmed before he called the bartender over and grabbed him by the collar, grimacing at him and startling surrounding club goers.

“Where did the nerdy drunk kid go? You were supposed to be watching him, you idiot!” Bill yelled over the music, loud enough to be heard. 

“I-I dunno man, some guy named Brent bought him a drink and dragged him to the dancefloor! He was acting kinda funny though like he was out of it. That guy didn’t look like a perfect angel either, he might’ve done something dirty.” The bartender stumbled for words, he knew exactly what this man was capable of and he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it. 

“So you’re telling me that you let him go with some random sleazeball who probably slipped something into his drink?! YOU IDIOT!” Bill pushed the man back before he went through the crowd and didn’t hesitate to shove people out of his way. He huffed, scanning the crowd and looking for Dipper, it was hard to find him since he wasn’t wearing anything that stood out, but he’d be damned if he didn’t find him. His temper was nearing the end of its rope when he spotted Dipper on the sidelines, some guy grinding on him with a knee between his legs. It was obvious what was happening and it only served to piss Bill off even more. He made it over to where they were before pulling the man away from Dipper by his hair, sneering at him. Dipper coughing and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. Bill ignored the protesting man, bringing a fist up before slamming it into his face, a satisfying crunch following afterward. He heard Dipper gasp and looked over to him, dropping the man before sending a harsh kick to his torso and groin before looking Dipper over, his eyes blown wide and watery.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?” Bill held Dipper’s face up, worry visible on his face as he looked him over for injuries.

“I...he, uh.” Dipper was at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing much like a fish. He answered Bill by hugging his middle tightly, hiccuping. He was very thankful for the intervention. Bill grimaced before grabbing the man by his throat and dragging him against the floor while carefully bringing Dipper along with him, he was making a scene but he could care less. He found some of his lackey’s along the way to the entrance, they got the message before he had to say it, following after him and crowding around Dipper, like a protective circle. Dipper managed to keep up with Bill, hanging off his arm and feeling relieved when they made it outside. He was confused as to what Bill was doing but he followed him anyway. Dipper was stopped by Pyronica who wrapped an arm around him, comforting him. Bill disappeared into the nearest alleyway before screams of agony were heard before a few gunshots and then nothing.  
\--------  
It sobered Dipper up immensely, had he just witnessed a murder? He could feel himself shaking and yet...he wasn’t scared. Was it because his great-uncles would’ve done the same thing? Dipper was uneasy but he surprisingly felt no remorse for the man. He watched as Bill came back out and...was that blood on his slacks? Dipper felt like he was going to throw up but it never came.

“It’s okay, it won’t happen again, Pinetree. C’mon, let's get you home. The rest of you, take care of this then head back to the base, understood?” Bill looked around at his lackeys, who just nodded before heading to the cars to get clean-up supplies. He followed when Bill pulled him along back to his car and opening the door for Dipper, he got in without a struggle and managed to buckle himself in while Bill got in and started the car, wasting no time in driving away from the club and heading back to Dipper’s cabin. The radio wasn’t on but Dipper didn’t mind the silence, it was comforting after he had to listen to bass boosted music for the last hour and a half, it also helped him clear his head. He had to think some things through. Some murder-y mob boss things. He looked over at Bill who was speeding, his brows furrowed together, he must be really upset. Dipper’s foggy mind managed to put something together before he leaned over and patted Bill’s shoulder, getting his attention, a worried look before he raised an eyebrow.

“Thanks, you’re th’ best mob boss a guy could have.” Dipper lopsidedly grinned up at him before yawning and keeping his head on Bill’s shoulder, it must’ve worked because Bill slowed down a bit before he ruffled Dipper’s hair before he turned the radio onto something gentle on the ears, probably classical music if Dipper had to guess. It took them a short while for them to get back to Dipper’s place but when Bill shut the car off, Dipper tried to get out but managed to trip over himself and scrape his hands on the dirt. He huffed, offended at the ground before he found himself being lifted in the air...oh, Bill was carrying him bridal style, shifting Dipper in his arms before he unzipped his jacket pocket and fished the house keys out before unlocking the door and tossing them on the side table after he shut and relocked the door behind them. Dipper’s head was swimming already, making him bury his face in Bill’s neck and groaning.

“I know, you probably feel like shit, don’t worry, we’re almost there.” Bill managed to make it up the stairs and into Dipper’s room before he was gently set on the bed, his jacket and shoes quickly removed before Bill was in the bathroom and bringing him a glass of water. Dipper gladly took it, careful not to spill it on himself as he downed the glass and handed it back to Bill. Bill seemed pleased he was taking in fluids, anything to dilute the drugs and alcohol in his system. Dipper yawned before he tried to kick his pants off, sleeping in pants seemed like the worst thing that could happen to him right now. He looked over at Bill who was trying not to laugh at what he was watching, and gave him puppy eyes.

“Need help, pants are dumb,” Dipper grumbled, huffing at his seemingly undefeatable pants. Bill snorted before he helped Dipper out of his jeans before bringing the comforter up to Dipper’s midsection before doing the same, pulling Dipper close because he already knew Dipper liked to cuddle his chest. Dipper did, in fact, lay his head on Bill’s shoulder, hand wrapped around Bill’s neck and pulling him impossibly closer.

“Hey, Bill? Can I ask you somethin’?” Dipper looked up at him, stifling another yawn.

“Sure Pinetree, ask away.” Bill smiled, seeming content just messing Dipper’s hair up even more.

“You keep asking me if I’m okay but...are you okay? You seemed pretty upset back there.” Dipper contemplated why somebody would be murdered in his honor as he asked away, not making eye contact with Bill.

“I...I was pretty upset. You’re part of the mob family, sure you’re the rookie but you’re still an important part of it. You would be upset too if somebody tried to hurt your family, wouldn’t you? I was just doing what comes naturally to me, protecting my family first and protecting myself second. That’s the way I’ve always done things. But I’m okay now, you’re not hurt and the other’s are taking care of the rest.” Bill watched the shadows of the room cast shapes, relaxing his mind.

“That’s dumb,” Dipper spoke up, completely blunt.

“And why is that dumb?” Bill rose a brow, looking down at Dipper.

“If you’re always protecting your family, who’s protecting you? You can get hurt too, and you’re just as important as Py or Teeth. Doesn’t anybody protect you?” Dipper looked up at him, the alcohol in his system making him more emotional than usual, tears pricking his eyes again.

“I protect myself, Dipper, I don’t need anybody to keep an eye on me.” Bill quieted down, wrapping on of Dipper’s curls around his finger.

“Well if nobodies keeping an eye on you, then _I will_. Don’t worry, I got you, Bill.” Dipper scooted up, purposely knocking his head against Bill’s before laying his head back on his chest. 

“Y...You promise? To watch my back, I mean.” Bill looked down at him again, eye a little glossier than usual.

“Cross my heart and hope to die, Bill.” Dipper grinned, hugging Bill a bit tighter.

“Aw shucks, you’re making me blush.” Bill laughed, moving his head to stare at the ceiling and revel in the sweet sentiment of his friend. They laid like that for a while, just enjoying the darkness of the room, before Dipper spoke up with a laugh.

“Hey, you wanna know something dumb?” He propped himself up on his elbows so he could look at Bill properly.

“What? Besides your nerdy alien shirts?” Bill smiled as he teased, looking at Dipper.

“Hey! They aren’t dumb. And yeah, it’s really dumb. Before tonight I’ve never had alcohol before...or had my first kiss. Does making out while really drunk with somebody you don’t know count as a first kiss?” Dipper laughed, mostly to cope with the fact he’d almost been in a bad situation...but he wasn’t, Bill had saved him.

“It doesn’t have to count as your first kiss if you don’t want it to, Dipper. Usually, it’s with somebody you enjoy being with, not somebody that tried to get into your pants.” Bill snorted, still playing with Dipper’s hair.

“Yeah? Well...I enjoy being with you, hanging out and stuff. You’re really fun and you make me laugh a lot. Even if you’re afraid of gnomes.” Dipper jokes, looking at all the details of Bill’s shirt, grimacing when he saw a speck of blood.

“Eughh, those things still freak me out.” Bill shook his head, getting the image of the gnomes out of his mind. “Well, if you enjoy being with me, then maybe you should kiss _me_.” Bill joked, his heart sinking a bit. If he could guess where this was going, it would end up with Dipper kicking him out because he made things awkward with a confession of his feelings. 

“You would let me kiss you? But you’re like, super cute. Why?” Dipper frowned, looking at Bill, confused.

“I-You think I’m cute? And...and you WANT to kiss me?” Bill looked surprised, sitting up a bit more to look at Dipper to see if he was serious.

“Are you blind? Of course, I think you’re cute, since pretty much everything about you is cute, and yeah if you let me I would probably kiss you. I could brag to my sister than I had a cuter first kiss than her. She’d be devastated.” He snickered, looking at Bill curiously, why was he looking at him like that? His alcohol addled brain couldn’t make the connection.

“Oh...well then if-if you really want to we can...kiss I mean. Only if you really want to though.” Bill could feel his face light up, his ears burning with a blush.

“Holy crap really? You wanna?” Dipper gaped at him, thoroughly surprised.

“Sure? I mean, if anybody’s getting your first kiss it’s definitely me.” Bill laughed nervously.

“Holy-wow. I can’t believe it. Sorry if I do something really weird, I haven’t kissed before.” Dipper mumbled as he looked at Bill, expecting to wake up any second now.

“You don’t say?” Bill raised a brow at him, sarcasm and humor laced through his sentence. “Well come here then, your mouth ain’t gonna kiss itself.” Bill took a breath before he pulled Dipper close, looking for any sign that he wanted to stop. When he found none, he continued until their lips met in a gentle kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the character tags, just some foreshadowing ;)  
> This is what I listened to to try and get the club vibe going for the chappy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKMpXljjjuU  
> Also if anyone's wondering how Dippy got drugged, you know that drink Brent ordered? He switched it with Dipper's when Dippy was looking for Bill in the crowd. Just explaining that now.
> 
> Here's a sort of reference to what Dipper wore to the club. It's not exactly it so you're gonna have to use your imagination some -->
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/J1tsgMA)  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> pwease validate me with comments


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